


Das Modell

by Donaukinderr



Category: Rammstein
Genre: M/M, Rough Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-08 22:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 39,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11091216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donaukinderr/pseuds/Donaukinderr
Summary: "Herr Schneider, before we begin, do you have any questions about our agreement ?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Get ready for the gay.

" _Herr_ Schneider, it's so good to know that you've finally decided to take me up on my offer" he said joyfully, his blue eyes shining almost as much as his pearly white teeth. I had to admit he was attractive, exceptionally attractive.

His jet black hair, satin white skin, piercing blue eyes, and astounding smile seemed to be brought out even more due to the crisp charcoal designer suit he was wearing. His entire aura left me at a loss for words, I could only smile and weakly nod.

"Before we begin, do you have any questions about our agreement?" He asked still radiating utter enthusiasm. I managed to stammer out "Y-yes, Mr. Krus-" before he interrupted me by saying "Please call me Richard".

I inhaled deeply before starting again "Yes, R-Richard, I'm actually not quite sure about what you meant by this" I quickly scrambled to reach into my pocket and grab my phone, opening the email Richard personally sent to me.

Usually fashion designers go through my agency, or at least my agent; my personal email wasn't known to the general public. Just my agent and close acquaintances; people that I had to communicate regularly with. So the fact he emailed me personally left a strong impression on me. 'How many people did he have to bribe or speak to, to get my email address? At least half a dozen'.

"Herr Schneider, I'm contacting you to request that you come and work for me; for a period of time that should not exceed a year. In that time you are to follow my direction and be the main model on my newest fashion line. One that has not been viewed by the general public and caters to a specific audience". I stopped reading and looked up at him.

His face was slightly puzzled, before his face lit up because I asked him "What do you mean by _'a specific audience'?"._

"Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't ask this question until after you agreed.. but I guess I do owe you an explanation". He sighed heavily before continuing;

"Christoph, the specfic audience is _me_ ; I want you to be _my_ model".

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing gets better I promise.

I breathed in sharply trying to process what he just offered me. " _What_?" I asked utterly confused. My brain was spinning a thousand miles an hour. _'Was this real? Did he actually just offer me that?'._

Part of me wanted to say no. _'What if it ever got out ? I'd never hear the end of it... I'd just be the whore model that slept with Germany's biggest fashion designer'._

There'd be speculation over everything I've ever accomplished; they'd all think I slept my way to the top. I'd be reduced to a cheap whore with a pretty face.

But the other part of me wanted to say yes. He is undeniably attractive and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely flattered by his offer. He said nothing, he just stared at me. His blue eyes piercing into mine, searching, looking for any subtle hint that would give away my answer.

So I just got up and walked to edge of his office. All four walls were made of 1 way glass. So I simply looked out at the view.

We were 40 stories up and I could see basically all of Germany from here. All of the buildings and landmarks I've come to love; they looked like specs from up here. I couldn't face him. Nor could I deny the chill that ran up my spine as he came up behind me and whispered in my ear.

"Christoph, you could see this view everyday, if you'd just say yes. There's no denying that I want you in everyway known to man, but there's nothing that I wouldn't give you. Everything your heart desires; I would give it you. If you just give yourself to me." I shivered softly as he gently set his hands on my hips.

"Bitte.. Christoph, sag ja" he whispered dragging his lips down my neck; causing me to stifle a moan that was threatening to pass my lips.

He pressed his entire body against me. I couldn't help but press back into him and tilt my head.

My skin was on fire. To be adored by such a handsome man set my mind, body and soul into utter ruin.

He planted several feverish kisses onto my skin, "geb dich mir" he said harshly. There was such a sense of dominance in his entire demeanor and in those three words; I couldn't help myself.

That was the final nail in my coffin. It was the last wave that broke down my dam; I was ready to let myself drown and suffocate in everything that is this man. Everything that is Richard Kruspe.

He grabbed the collar of my shirt and whispered again "Sag mir es, sag ja".   
I roughly shoved him off of me and turned around.

His expression was devoid of everything, but his blue eyes didn't shine like before. I looked deeply into them and whispered a soft "Ja.. ich will dich".

His blank expression fell into one of utter shock but his eyes lit up brighter than ever. I grabbed him by the collar of his suit and pressed his lips against mine.

He pulled us apart and peered into my eyes as he said "Rule number one of belonging to me: You belong to me. I am in control always. Me. _Not you. Me."_

Something inside me was humoured as I stood over 4 inches taller than him but he still had the power to control me in such a way. I couldn't help it. His dominance was more addicting than heroin. He pulled me over to the front of his desk.

I half expected some sort of over the desk-rough sex but I was equally delighted and disappointed to find he pushed a button on his desk instead.

"Yes Mr. Kruspe?" replied the tiny male voice through the speakers. "Uh yes.. Paul, come in please and show Christoph to his room for tonight".

In less than a minute, a man smaller than both of us came walking through the door. He was wearing professional clothes, and had thinning hair but striking eyes and a very happy smile.

"Hello, Christoph, I'm Paul. I'll show you to your room." I shot Richard a glance but he simply said "I'll see you later tonight at dinner". Before Paul lead me out of Richard's office and down the hall.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The walk, well ride up to my room was fairly short. We took an elevator down a few stories and immediately after we stepped off the elevator, ahead of us was one locked doorway. Paul pulled my room card from his pocket and swiped it through the lock on the door. The little light on it turned from red to green and he opened it.

He quickly handed me my room key as we stepped through the door. Saying it was huge was an extreme understatement, also calling it a room was one as well. It was basically an apartment. A very large, luxurious apartment. The color scheme was to die for and the extravagant accessories it contained, were some I could only have in my dreams.  
My mouth was agape and my mind was blown as Paul showed me everything my "room" contained.

There was a gigantic tv, all sorts of food, drinks and booze. _So much fucking booze._ There was a cabinet and fridge full and there was no way any of the bottles were under $100.

I had a bathroom full of things I would never use up in my life time. This bathroom could sustain a family of 6 for a lifetime. There was all sorts of shampoos, soaps, cologne, conditioners, deodorants, and so much more. Complete with a expensive shower, sink and toilet. Everything looked like it was plated in either gold or platinum.

Paul then showed me my bedroom. There was a king sized bed with elaborate carvings all over the 4 large columns that protruded from each corner of the bed. The carvings continued on the enormous headboard. The sheets were a dark red, a shade lighter than maroon, and the sea of pillows ranged from gold, white, silver or bronze to any mix of the 4 colors.

Paul showed me my walk-in closet full of clothes. I think Richard ordered me the whole goddamn store. I stared among the many rows upon rows of clothes until Paul interrupted my gaze by speaking.

"I'm sorry to inform you _Herr Schneider,_ but Richard would like you down in the lobby at 8 pm sharp and its 7 pm now, would you like me to leave so you can get dressed and become better acquainted with your room ?". I smiled at him and said sweetly "Yes, thank you very much for your help so far Paul". He returned my smile and bowed slightly while saying "it's my pleasure Sir" before his footsteps echoed down throughout my "room", the main door shutting and clicking behind him signified his exit.

I didn't know what to wear. Richard didn't tell me what to wear. Casual or Formal? Knowing Richard it would probably be outrageously formal, so I dug through the many suits that were hung up and just grabbed a basic black one but traded out the white shirt underneath for an olive one and grabbed a simple black tie. I looked at the clock. 7:15 pm. I needed to hurry if I was gonna have any time to shower and do my hair.

Before I knew it I was showered and I had a towel wrapped around my waist and head.

I grabbed a change of underwear and socks and quickly slipped them on; along with the olive shirt and black dress pants. I applied deodorant and some French cologne that had a name I couldn't pronounce. I took the towel off my head and hung it up. My long strands of hair clung together in a slightly damp, curly mess but I didn't mess with it. I ran into the other room and checked the clock. 7:53 pm. "Shit" I said groaning to myself, internally lighting the fire under my ass.

I sat in the bathroom and contemplated applying makeup. "What the hell? I'm a model for Christ sake I can be extra if I want" I said to myself softly. I applied some eyeliner and mascara, and that shit was hard to do. Or at least it's hard when you're shaking slightly due to the fact you've got a million dollar hottie you're trying to impress, and he's gonna be gawking at you all night long. By the time I finished it was 7:57. "Fuck Fuck FUCK" I yelled at myself, quickly slipping on dress shoes and black over coat, taking one last look in the mirror to make sure my tie was straight and I had everything. Phone. Room key. Alright let's go.

I hopped in the elevator and pressed the button with the "L" next to it as the time on my phone changed from 7:58 to 7:59.

When I finally made it down 30 stories it was 8:02 pm. Richard looked slightly irritated at the fact I wasn't down at 8 pm sharp, but god he looked amazing. His black hair was now slicked to the side instead of spiked all over the place like it was earlier. He had the same charcoal suit on as earlier but he had changed his white shirt underneath to a red one. His eyes were rimmed with black which made them stand out more than ever. And his smile was still bright as the sun.

"Long trip ?" he said laughing slightly. I returned his smile and replied with "yeah going down 30 stories takes a minute or two". He dismissed me with a simple "the limo is waiting for is, we're going to be late, let's go".

The limo was a simple black one, but was still amazingly beautiful. It had a leather interior and it was simply beautiful. We quickly drove off and Richard was tapping away at his smartphone when I asked him "where are we going?" he never looked up from his phone but he smirked slightly as he said "you'll see".

When we got to the restaurant it was no doubt extremely fancy and I thanked myself for dressing the way I did. I can't imagine if I dressed any other way. 'thank fuck I avoided that monstrosity'.

We quickly excited the car and were swept inside. The atmosphere was some of the most prestigious I've ever seen, and I fell in love.

Richard greeted the server with a smile as he said "yes, we have reservations at 8:30 under Kruspe". She nodded her head and lead us to our table. She handed us each a menu and quietly left.

"What are you planning on ordering honey?" Richard smiled softly and I blushed deep red, completely caught off guard by the nickname. "Uh.. Uh, I don't know" I said trying to contain my inner school girl screaming at the top of her lungs, and my brain from having a complete meltdown over a goddamn nickname.

"Do you want a recommendation?" he said sweetly, the smiling on his face growing ever larger as the blush on my face grew deeper. "Yes, yes please".

The waitress came back and Richard ordered for both of along with some extremely expensive champagne.  
Before I knew it the night was coming to an end. Richard and I ate and drank to our hearts content and I could feel my heart flutter as he shot me a glance across the table. It was a look that I couldn't explain. All I knew is that it set my skin on fire just like before in his office. Except he didn't have to touch me. He just had to look at me.

He quickly and quietly paid the bill before whispering "Come on honey let's go" again causing an insanely dark blush to spread across my entire face.

We exited the restaurant and got into the limo. I couldn't help but lean into Richard. Partly because I felt like I was gonna explode from within, and partly because I was hoping I could cause him to blush as much as he made me. Sadly it didn't work.

A smile just formed on his lips and he wrapped his arm around me and whispered "So I'm guessing you like it when I call you nicknames huh baby?" I just smiled and stuffed my head into the crook of his neck. I couldn't explain why I was being so lovey-dovey towards Richard considering we just made whatever this is "official" today, but he was just charming, and alluring. So where's the harm done ?

I didn't want to move but eventually we made it back to his place so I reluctantly moved and walked with him inside. He pressed the button to my floor. As we rode up, he was staring at me with fire in his eyes. A fire that I wanted to be consumed in.

We made it to my floor and I quickly unlocked the door. I shoved Richard inside and smashed my lips against his. His entire aura filled with sheer and utter dominance as he pressed my body against the door. I took off my jacket as he pressed hot, hard kisses to my neck. "Richard" I groaned loudly. I attempted to fumble with the buttons on my shirt but Richard was having none of it. He tore my shirt open and bit my neck. Hard. The moan that escaped me was loud and needy.

"Whore" Richard mumbled against my skin, laughing slightly as he undid my pants pulling them down to my ankles. I stepped out of them and attempted to clumsily help him out of his. But he was out of his clothes faster than I was even able to put a hand on him to help. We were both stripped down to our boxers and he grabbed my ass as he hoisted me up and had me wrap my legs around his waist.

I giggled as he ran us both to my bedroom and slammed us down on the bed. He pressed our lips together and his tongue found it's way into my mouth stifling my loud and needy moans. Feeling him pressed up against me brought me an ecstasy that I'd never meet without him.

"Richard... Richard please" I groaned out as he pressed himself against me even harder. "Please what Richard ?" He said smiling from my utter submission to him. "Please.. touch me" I moaned out as he bit at my neck and his hand started grazing down my stomach. I felt like I was gonna explode from sheer need as I felt his fingertips pass under the material of my underwear.

Richard hesitated and stopped kissing my neck to whisper in my ear "Baby guess what?" _"What?"_ I groaned thrusting my hips up desperately needing for him to touch me.

He laughed slightly before whispering "Only diligent boys get rewarded" then he proceeded to get up, and walk out of my room in only his boxers. The door behind him shutting and clicking signifying his exit.

 


	4. Chapter 4

I laid in bed for the next couple of hours. I tried to get some sleep but I had 2 problems. One very noticeable, painful problem, and one a little less noticeable. I feel like if I could just calm down enough; I could finally sleep. But the actions from earlier tonight still had my skin and mind ablaze.

  
I got up; groaning softly reaching for my phone, dialing in Richards number. My finger hovered over the call button as I tried to assess my emotions. Part of me wanted to go upstairs and demand for tonight's events to continue and part of me wanted to go up there and smash in his stupidly hot face for leaving me with such a _problem_.

  
I groaned loudly as I locked my phone and walked to the kitchen grabbing one of the many bottles of alcohol behind the cabinet glass.

  
It didn't matter to me what it was or what it was called, just that it was 100 proof alcohol and if I couldn't have Richard, I might as well get shitfaced. The night is young, its barely midnight. I'm young. There's a lot of drinking to do and a lot of hours to waste.  
I opened the bottle of alcohol and took a long hard drink. The taste wasn't awful. It tasted like cherries, that is, until the aftertaste kicked in; it almost made me keel over and gag.

I looked over the cabinet and saw something that resembled the words "red wine" so I chose that one. I liked wine. It wasn't terrible but just wasn't the "manliest" way to get drunk; but nothing I did was specifically manly. Being dominated by a 5'11 man and being a model didn't exactly scream _manly_ man to me. So why do I care ? Why am I thinking so much?

All I know is the alcohol hasn't hit me, I'm exhausted and I want to not have a fucking boner anymore.

  
I opened the bottle of wine and took as many mouthfuls as I could manage in one breath. I lost count at 13. I pulled my mouth away from the bottle gasping heavily. The wine was better than the other bottle because the aftertaste didn't make me want to retch my guts out. I looked at the bottle. Nearly a half was gone.

I felt the two alcohols hit my wrecked body at once. I wanted more. I didn't want to feel now. I took another long series of gulps off the wine bottle, now rendering it a quarter way full. I was swaying quite a lot and my mind was foggy and I loved it. My problems slipped away for a minute like they always do. " _Holy shit_ alcohol is great" I say softly giggling to myself.

I somehow managed to get my stumbling self down the hallway and into my bed. I rolled myself into the mass of sheets. Throwing more of the throw pillows onto the floor. I found a decent sized pillow; I remember it was nice and cool and then I was gone.

-

I woke up to the man named Paul talking _"Herr Schneider,_ it's time for you to get up. Richard would like to see you for your first assignment today". Before I even opened my eyes I could tell I had a massive hangover and I wasn't ready to tear my alcohol soaked body from my bed and all its cozy grandeur.

I groaned loudly like a child "What time is it?" "It's 9:45 am sir" replied Paul. "Richard said that he would like you in his office at 10:30 pm, and he does not like it when you're late" Paul said with a sense of underlying urgency. I groaned loudly as all of last night flooded back into my head. "Yes, Paul my dear... thank you but I've already _fucking found_ that out". I was taken aback at my attitude towards the tiny man, but everything about Richard and last night pissed me off to no end; and I know that Richard seeing me would give him another rush of asshole superiority.

Paul just beamed me a smile and said "Well I'll leave you to it, Herr Schneider. Remember 10:30" before walking out of my bedroom and out the main door.

I groaned again, this time for a thousand different reasons. My head and body ached, I would have to get up and shower cause I definitely reeked of alcohol. I'd have to face Richard after the embarrassment called last night happened and my clock read 9:54 am.

I unwillingly peeled myself from my bed sheets and raided my bathroom cabinet for some aspirin and hopped in the shower. The hot water felt immensely good on my tired achey body and it was helping to un-fog my mind a little. I washed my hair and body and huffed slightly once I turned off the water and stepped out. I dried off and wrapped my hair up and checked the clock. It read 10:13.

I wasn't sure what to wear, maybe Germany's biggest fashion designer should give me some tips on how to fucking dress for once. I felt like shit and I didn't care if Richard knew. I put on underwear and socks and pulled on the plainest looking black t-shirt I could find and a pair of grey sweats.

I took my hair out and didn't bother with it once again. I didn't bother with makeup either. I just put on some deodorant and some soft smelling cologne. 10:22.

I grabbed my phone and room key and stuffed them in a black jacket that I grabbed off the floor. Evidence from last night was everywhere, shoes strewned and clothes both belonging to me and Richard were from one end of my apartment to the other. I hoped the jacket was mine, but I couldn't remember. It looked like mine so let's hope so.

I got in the elevator and pushed the button to Richard's office. I was not ready as I was soon standing in front of his door at 10:27. I inhaled deeply before knocking, a lot louder than I had intended. "Come in" rang Richard voice from behind the door. I sheepishly opened it and I was not emotionally prepared for how handsome he looked today.

He was wearing another suit except it was a dark gray. His hair was carelessly thrown up and looked like a cross between a styled Mohawk and just thrown in all directions. He was wearing less eyeliner than last night but it was still evident. And his shot me that bright million dollar smile.

I wanted to collapse right there. My body ached, threatening to make my arousal known but I just smiled sweetly as he said "Well..  _Guten Morgen sunshine,_ don't you look ravishing". I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic to serious so I decided it was somewhere in the middle.

He got up from behind his desk and made his way over to me. He pressed our bodies together and he planted a chaste kiss to my lips. I turned my head away from him and he backed off sensing my discomfort.

He smiled slightly and whispered ever so quietly "I guess you learned your lesson about being on time,  _huh baby?"_ I was so turned on by that sentence but it just all turned to frustration and anger. It bubbled up and I couldn't help it I shoved him and growled rather loudly "Leave me alone!".

He smiled even wider now and grabbed my chin with his thumb and index finger and whispered "I think it's time you're taught a lesson"; before grabbing my hand and walking us out the door, with our destination unknown to me.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the kink and the sex. (also I've written a lot of chapters so I'll be posting them all very quickly and I promise my writing gets so much better I wrote this like 3 months ago and it's so bad but please bear with me).

We made it to a place that I guessed was his room. He had never shown it to me before. My inner questions were quickly answered as he pulled out his room key and pulled us inside.

It was even larger than mine. And the color schemes were similar but I was still in awe.

Although I didn't have much time to gawk because he pulled me into his bedroom and slammed the door. His bedroom was much larger than mine and he had a bathroom attached to his bedroom.

His bed was very much different from mine. It was the same size but instead of a carved wooden headboard his was metal. It had 2 long metal pipes running the the length of the bed.

" _Sit_ " he said rather forcefully and I sat on the bed as he went into his closet, he pulled out a brown paper bag. I didn't have much time to ponder before he simply stated "go put this on but leave my jacket on over it, and don't keep me waiting". I blushed deeply, kicking myself in the ass as I walked to the bathroom and shut the door. _'OF COURSE ITS HIS GODDAMN JACKET'_ I screamed internally. I opened up the little brown bag and I was not prepared for what was inside.

Women's lingerie.

_"What.. the.. fuck.."_ I whispered softly to myself. I didn't have much time to be beside myself because I heard Richard's voice from behind the door "Sometime this century my dear". I stripped myself of my clothes and slipped on the black lacy pair of underwear, that basically weren't underwear and the thigh high stockings that went with it. I quickly slipped on his jacket again and I looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't deny it. I looked fucking hot. I turned around and quickly opened up the door.

Richard looking hot as ever, was laying back on his bed. He had removed his over coat and tie and had unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt. He took a long drag off his dwindling cigarette and put it out on in the ashtray on his nightstand.

He walked silently up to me. He whispered softly "turn around". I did what he requested and he smacked my ass, which caused me to yelp.

  
He turned me around so I was facing the front of him. He wrapped his around my waist and whispered "You know I was going to severely punish you because of your awful attitude this morning" I looked into his eyes and nodded softly as I whispered "Tut mir leid".

He smiled slightly as he continued "but... Now I'm not so sure about the severity. For starters, you look so fucking sexy like that. And I think I punished you quite a lot by leaving you all alone last night, and you learned from that... _Correct?"_.

I just continued looking into his eyes and nodding my head. "Good baby, now you do realize I have to punish you to make sure you don't disobey me again.. _Correct?"_ I bit my lip slightly but continued nodding. He continued once more "Next time you take that tone with me though, I will give you the punishment you deserve. Understand?"

I was never an expert on any type of bdsm or domination, I tried it a handful of times with an old ex-boyfriend but I was always the one dominating. This whole situation with Richard has completely changed my interest. There was something about Richard that made it, hot, exciting and very much needed. I wanted everything that Richard has planned. I wanted Richard. I really wanted him.

He grabbed my hand and sat with me on the bed. "Before we begin I need to know... Have you ever done anything like.. this before?". I blushed deep red as I shook my head and stammered out "no.. no.. not really, I m-mean I did try it with an ex-boyfriend but I was never the bottom". He smiled slightly as he spoke "Is there anything you've got a hardline against? Where is your limit?" I blushed impossibly deeper as I confessed "I don't know, maybe we just start with simple stuff and if we discover something I don't like then we'll figure out my limit.. Together".

He took my confession in a stride, quickly pressing out lips together. His tongue quickly found it's way into my mouth and I moaned against him. Just the simple act of him kissing me made the fire rage inside me once again, but this time I wasn't going to let him leave.

He stopped kissing me to open the drawer to his nightstand. The first thing I saw was a pair of leather handcuffs. "Lay on your stomach" he instructed and I followed suit. "Now put your hands above your head on the headboard". I did what I was told and he quickly put the handcuffs on me. I couldn't deny the rush I felt as Richard pulled the lacy underwear off my body. I also didn't expect the moan that came from my lips as he pulled my head back and spoke harshly in my ear "on your knees _whore_ ".

He hasn't even touched me yet and I already felt like I could explode at any second. I loved this.

I was take aback when I felt something solid and hard smack against my ass. The sting caused an uncontrollable moan to escape my lips and a buzz to run through my body and straight to my dick. Richard pulled my hair again and growled in my ear "count for me slut". "1.. 2.. 3.. 4.."

Every time he hit me with whatever it was, the spark raged through my body and I had to keep myself from coming right there. He finally stopped when we reached 30.

"You want to come don't you slut ?" asked Richard. I could barely form a cognitive sentence all my blood was going to my dick not my brain.

"Speak you fucking whore" Richard spanked my ass again. I moaned loudly, "O-oh god yes. Yes. Please" he chuckled softly "too fucking bad, you come when I tell you to, got it ? If you come without my permission I won't lay a finger on you for a month. That's a promise".

"Yes I understand". I could hear the smile in his voice "Good, now.. slut. Tell me how bad you want me to fuck you". "Oh God, I want you to fuck me so bad. Please. I want you so ba-" in the middle of my sentence Richard spanked me once again causing me to just about scream in need.

"Richard please, fuck me". Richard let out another amused laugh. I could hear him zipping down his dress pants, and fumbling around with his clothing and letting it hit the floor.

I couldn't see much of what was happening from the position I was in, yet my dick twitched with sheer anticipation. Butterflies flew around in my stomach as every second passed, and I just hoped to God that Richard would hurry the fuck up already.

"Hmm... I don't know honey. I'm beginning to reconsider."

I've had enough of Richard's stupid teasing. As I began to open my mouth to yell at him, I felt a sharp pain in my ass, which could only be cause by the man himself. Although I couldn't manage to speak a coherent sentence, I couldn't stop the sultry but pained moan that came out of my mouth. My hands instinctively reached for the metal pipe headboard and squeezed so goddamn tightly.

"That was just the tip and you're panting already?! You naughty whore."

I huffed at Richard's remark. "K-Keep going," I begged. "I don't want 'just the tip'. I want everything inside of m-"

Once more, I was interrupted. But this time, the sharp pain in my ass grew immensely as Richard thrust the rest of his dick inside of me. I was in fucking ecstasy. It felt like a goddamn dream, and I was loving every moment of it.

"Don't tell me what to fucking do, you cunt!" Richard screamed at me with an anger so intense that it actually concerned me. He pulled out and thrust into me as he spoke, placing a noticeable emphasis on the word "fucking" as he pushed me against the headboard.

"What part of 'Next time you take that tone with me, I will give you the punishment you deserve' did you not understand?!"

Richard pulled out and pushed his rather large member into me again. Hell, I wasn't complaining. Angry or not, Richard was fucking me, and it felt goddamn good.

I could feel some precum dripping down my own cock and wished with all of my heart that I could touch myself. As if Richard read my mind, he took my dick into his firm, rough hand and slowly began to stroke me. My breath was labored, tears were beginning to form into my eyes, and, although I was in pain, everything felt so fucking sublime.

Adding more pain to pleasure Richard sunk his teeth into my neck again, and again and again. I moaned endlessly as he continued his assault on my neck.

"Apologize now whore!" Richard yelled at the top of his lungs. I was almost certain that his comment was heard throughout the building.

"Tut mir leid!" I whimpered. "Again" he yelled. Him trusting into me was making my body shake from pure need and my head spin from pleasure "I-I'm sorry master!" Richard all but stopped everything at my words. He growled quite loudly "what did you just call me.. Slut?"

My mind was blank. My body ached. I just wanted him to touch me again, but couldn't bring myself to answer. I felt a sting across my ass and then a sturdy hand wrapping around my throat stopped any noise I would have made in protest.

My heart was beating hard as he squeezed my throat harder and repeated himself his tone boarding on sinster "I Said.. What. Did. You. Call. Me. Slut?" I tried to say the word "Master" but due to his hand stifling my airway it was relatively hard to speak. He sensed I tried to speak and he realised his grip on my throat.

"Hmm?" Richard asked again. I pantef heavily before responding "Master.. I called you master". He laughed and said "that's right I'm your fucking master you bitch"

Richard pushed himself inside me once again and carried on the thrusting at a steady pace. Not too fast, not too slow.

The excitement grew within me at a rapid pace, and the unreasonable impatience I felt caused me to start rocking myself against Richard's dick. I couldn't help but to moan and groan to myself. As hard as I attempted to stifle my moans; as to not arouse concern from Paul or anyone else that might've been nearby, the sounds only grew louder. And not just the sounds coming from my mouth, either. The slapping of Richard's hips against my ass grew louder as well.... and much faster.

"Stop being so loud," Richard spoke, panting and almost out of breath. "Jesus fuck I-I can't," I struggled to reply. "Your cock is..." I moaned loudly as he thrusted into me harder "...so fucking big. It feels too fucking good."

Richard's heavy breathing began to turn into groans, and I could hear him trying to struggle to speak. Suddenly, the all too familiar feeling started to form within my groin area. With Richard's fast pace, I wasn't sure I was going to last much longer. I had to let him know now.

"Fuck Master , I-I'm gonna come shi-"

"Y-Yeah, me too," he interrupted. "Fuck...!" He fell on top of my back like a dog in heat and fucked me with aggressively fast thrusts while he rode up his orgasm. I felt myself falling over the edge, and I couldn't fucking take it anymore.

"Master please!" I pleaded, my pleas fell on deaf ears. Richard let out a deep groan as he came into my asshole. Shortly after, I tensed up and I came onto his bed sheets in an exploding moment of bliss that overwhelmed my body much stronger than I had anticipated.

At the moment, I didn't feel the least bit bad, but I knew that eventually, poor Richard, or Paul had to clean up my mess. Both of us were caught in a moment of dumbfounded silence as we tried so desperately to catch our breaths.

After what seemed like an eternity, Richard pulled out his cock, finally letting my asshole relax after an hour of sex. I didn't even mind the dripping of Richard's cum out of my ass at this point-- in fact, I quite enjoyed it. I laid on the bed, waiting for him to uncuff me, he did reluctantly.

There was so much tension in the air you could cut it with a knife. I foolishly waited for someone to break the silence.

Richard eventually did. His eyes were irritated and carried a tone of annoyance. "I didn't tell you to come... Did I ?"

My eyes widened at the realisation of my mistake. Richard stated blatantly "I guess I'm just gonna have to start punishing you until you listen... What do you think whore?"

I couldn't speak; I just nodded in response. He climbed in between my legs and grabbed my ass causing me to jump. "You know... If I didn't know better I would think that you're not listening to me just to tease me".

I giggled slightly "oh.. never" I replied sarcastically before pressing a long kiss against his lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute, fluffy shit so God can forgive me for the sin that was last chapter.

Richard and I eventually tore ourselves apart from each other. I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up while Richard lit up a cigarette and did something with the mess we made earlier.

I looked at myself in the mirror. The most prominent feature of me today was definitely my neck. There were dozens of bruises littering both sides of my neck; they were all various shades of red. Some barely a light pink and others so dark it looked like Richard bit a chunk out of my neck. I ran my fingers ever so lightly over the damaged skin and my stomach fluttered.

Next I looked at my lips, they were about 2 shades darker than they normally are and slightly puffy. I undeniably had sex hair. It was a tangled mess and stuck up in so many directions. I smiled slightly before I exited the bathroom.

I slipped on my boxers again and walked into Richard's closet. It was like a second home. The first thing that struck me was this white silk shirt that had all different designs on it. Some red, blue and purplish 'x's and some olive green and white flowers, some purple and white flowers and a pattern of flowers that could only remind me of colorful chickens.

I laughed rather loudly. "Oh for Christ sake _what is this?"_ I belted while practically running out of his massive closet. He was laying back on the bed underneath a new set of sheets and covers with his cigarette loosely hanging out of his mouth. He instantly smiled and started to defend the monstrosity that is his shirt _"Hey!_ That's one of my favorite shirts!" I laughed again "Well sorry to break it to you sweetheart but this shirt is fucking _ugly_ ". "Put it on!" encouraged Richard.

I quickly slipped it on buttoning the last few buttons. I laughed again when Richard smiled and made a twirling motion with his finger. I obliged and spun around for him.

Richard quickly put out his cigarette on the ashtray on his nightstand and rose from his bed walking over to me. "Okay I admit it... That shirt is pretty ugly.." he then wrapped his arms around my waist. "But you make it look so sexy" he said softly kissing the marks he previously made on my neck.

I smiled before commenting "Sorry to break it to you Mr. 'Germany's-Biggest-Fashion-Designer' but you have a terrible taste in shirts". He mumbled again "but I do have an _astoundingly_ good taste in men"; and with that statement I blushed deep red.

He turned me around to look out the massive window of his bedroom; I was taking it all in, encased in my lovers arms. If you would have told me a week ago I would be at literally the top of the world, half naked in a 'whatever this is' relationship with Richard Kruspe, Germany's rising star in the fashion industry, I would have laughed straight in your face. But now there's nowhere I'd rather be.

Richard momentarily let go of me to go to his nightstand and fiddle with some tablet on there. Immediately all the lights dimmed to nothing and a soft rock song started playing, I wasn't sure what it was called or who it was by but I loved it. Richard apparently did too.

  
**_[The song Richard is playing is called Sway by Blue October.]_ **

The sun was hanging low in the sky. It wasn't quite sunset but another half an hour or so it would be.

The song started off with some gentle bass strumming and the drums joined in and then the singer began singing. I have to admit his voice was remarkably different and unique.

Richard started swaying us to the beat and humming along to the first verse. He then joined in singing softly on the chorus. _"I only wanna dance with you, Every time I try, We only get an hour or so"_

His voice was nowhere near perfect but my heart fluttered as he whispered the second part of the chorus. _"It's time to get personal_  
_We've got these times of our lives_  
_Lets take this time to let it show_  
_'Cause these are ours."_

I turned to face him and continued swaying with him to the song. I laid my forehead to his; looking deeply into his ice blue eyes. Neither of us spoke. Richard quickly closed the gap between us.

And just like that.. it was magic. I felt more exposed to him in these few minutes than I did over the hours of sex we had. The intimacy of this moment was earth-shattering. Feeling his mouth on mine and his hands in my hair and on my neck was so incredibly stripping to me.

Richard broke our kiss to pull me to the bed and chime in time with the song "C'mon, dance with me".

Richard once again crawled between my legs. The feeling in my body was so different, there was no primal need for him, there was no burning fire. There was just butterflies... Ten thousand butterflies; taking up every inch of my body.

Every kiss, every move. The feeling of his hand gripping my hair. The feeling of his fingertips tracing shapes in the sides of my thigh. I was exploding with butterflies.

The song eventually ended, much to my discontent. We pulled apart and I set my head on his chest. He lit up another cigarette and we watched the sun slowly fade behind the clouds.

A song by Pearl Jam came on and reunited our little bubble of solitude and peace. I looked at him, god he was exquisite.

I muttered a soft "gimme" as I snatched the cigarette out of his mouth and took a long drag.

He exhaled the smoke out of his lungs as I took another inhale. As if he read my mind he set the ashtray on his leg so I wouldn't have to move. I snickered softly at his actions and he smiled. I looked at the sunset once more. "This view is incredible Richard". He only nodded.

I don't know how long we stayed like that; sharing Richard's cigarettes, watching the day fade as soft music drowned out our comfortable silence but I loved every second. It was our little peace of heaven.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actions do not come without punishments...

I woke up the next morning, wrapped in the sheets of Richards bed. Richard's 'side' of his bed was cold; signifying he left hours ago. I checked the clock. 10:53 am.

I got up slow, sleep still being the main thing on my mind. I whined Richard's name hoping he would magically show up. But of course, he didn't.

I rooted through Richard's closet and took off that ugly ass shirt from yesterday. I put on one of his pairs of sweats and one of his sleeping tops. It didn't matter to me honestly, I'd probably wander around here all day anyway.

I grabbed my phone and Richard's jacket and walked out the door. I pushed the button to my room deciding I would just go there and wait for Richard to call me but luckily Paul got on the floor below mine.

"Umm.. Paul I have a question" I stated rather dumbly. Paul smiled brightly "what is it sir?" "Would you happen to know where Richard is?"

"As a matter of fact, yes sir I do, he is in his office" Paul stated quite pleased with himself. I smiled in gratitude and pushed the button to Richard's office. Meanwhile Paul got off on one of the many floors below my destination.

I finally arrived at Richard's office and was delighted to see my beautiful man sitting behind his desk. He smiled and held a finger up, so I waited. His eyebrows furrowed and he began speaking rather harshly to someone on the phone.

_"I don't care what it takes Christian!_ If people ordered my damn clothes and somehow your factory fucked them up you need to _fix it!"_ He scoffed. "Well that's just fucking great! _Christian! Again I don't care!_ Fire the dumb fucks if you gotta! Just get it fucking _done"_. He grew red.

"Goddamn it _Christian!_ I swear to fucking god if you don't fix your company's fuck up, I'll fix it for you! And you won't like it when I shove your broken machines up your fucking ass you incompetent piece of sh-" he stopped mid-sentence. "You know what Christian I can't deal with this right now. I'm not going t-. _No no!_ Just stop, take responsibility for your actions and fix your fucking mistake. You have 3 days. Goodbye". He slammed his phone down on his desk and he offered me a weak smile.

I smiled widely as I walked over to him, quickly stradded his lap and put my arms around his neck. "Tough day babe?" I asked sweetly. He grumbled "You have no fucking idea".

"Is there anyway I can make it better?" I questioned. Richard smiled and said "you already have". I leaned in and kissed him and Richard slipped his fingers under the material of my boxers, squeezing my ass. "You know I love it when you wear my clothes, you wear them better than I do".

I smirked and replied smartly "I know". I ground my ass against Richard and he groaned loudly. "You know hearing you yell at him like that.. It was extremely hot". He cocked an eyebrow "Oh really?, you think so slut?" I bit my lip and nodded.

"Stand up" he ordered. I listened. "Bück dich.. Über den Tisch" I listened again. Richard pulled his sweats and my boxers down to my mid thighs.

He slapped my ass and I moaned. He wrapped his hand around my throat. "You're such a needy whore, now I'm gonna fuck you like one". He pressed his erection against my ass and the fire returned.

I heard Richard's belt clink softly as he unfastened it, along with his zipper. I couldn't help myself from begging for him _"Please master.. please"_ he smirked and leaned in close to my ear "as you wish who-" Richard's harsh whispers were interrupted by a knocking on his office door. Paul's voice rang out.

"Uh sir... your 11:30 appointment is here" Richard and I scrambled trying to figure out what to do as we exchanged equal looks of silent terror. "Uh Paul.. give me a minute" Richard called out. I quickly pulled up my pants while Richard was struggling to fit himself back into his. He finally zipped himself back up not bothering with his belt.

"Under the desk now!" he whispered. I quickly hid and Richard sat in his chair pushing himself all the way in, trying to hide himself from his obviously important clients. I heard the sound of papers sliding across his desk as he tried to make himself look busy.

"Come in!" Richard called out, his voice faltering slightly. I heard the sound of 2 sets of feet walking in front of Richard's desk. "Please, sit down" Richard said much calmer now.

I heard the sound of Richard's fumbling with something on his desk, then the distinct 'click' of his lighter. "So what can I do for you two?" questioned Richard.

The two men began pitching Richard some idea and Richard began droning about risk and stocks and failure rates. _'Christ how can Richard even begin to care about this bullshit?'._ I decided to have a little fun.

I reached out for Richard's pants undoing the button. Richard coughed and tried to pathetically swat my hand away. I snickered softly and then unzipped his pants and pulled him out of his boxers.

"Well I'm not sure you both completely understand the risks that would.." Richard inhaled deeply before drowning on again, "b-be associated with that type of corporate move". I teasingly licked him down his cock and his legs shook and his breathing faltered slightly.

I then took him into my mouth trying to be as quiet as possible. Richard tried to continue dryly talking about more politics but it was clear that I was hindering his ablity to speak.

I ran my finger through the slit on his dick and quickly ran my hand up and down his cock along with my mouth. I pulled myself off of him and blew air onto the tip of his cock and he shuttered.

I quickly resumed my previous actions and it was clear, Richard was close. His legs were shaking like mad and he grabbed onto my hair and was pulling hard. Unfortunately for him that only made me go faster.

Richard made a deep groan and tried to pass it off as a yawn as he came down my throat. I swallowed and tucked him back into his boxers and I zipped and buttoned up his pants.

His breathing quickly returned to normal and he regained his ability to speak. "I'm sorry guys, but I just have this awful headache and I'm just not processing anything you're saying. Can I take a raincheck? You can schedule another meeting with Paul down in the lobby".

The men we're hesitant but eventually agreed and quickly left his office. As soon as the door clicked behind them Richard immediately rolled out his chair. He sounded angry _"get. up. here. whore"._

I sheepishly crawled out from under the desk; although I faced his angered expression a smile was stuck on my face. I was exceedingly pleased with myself.

"Stand up" ordered Richard. I did. I tilted Richard's head up and whispered in his ear "What are you gonna do to me master? Spank me? Tie me up? Fuck me? Well I'm ready".

He returned my smile as he replied "No. I have the perfect punishment in mind for you whore".

-

I anxiously awaited my punishment. I was both equally excited and terrified. Richard hadn't done anything to me and it's been hours. That's what scared me most.

Richard entered the doorway to his bedroom "Get ready we're going to dinner in an half an hour, there's going to be some important people there so you're gonna need to make a good impression. I had Paul run and get you a suit from your room, he'll be here in a moment".

As if on cue Paul walked in, politely greeted us with a "Good evening sirs" and then handed Richard my suit and walked out. He laid the suit at my feet at the bottom of his bed. I didn't move. Richard climbed on top of me and grabbed me by the jaw. "I said get ready slut or I swear tonight will be even worse for you". I swallowed hard and nodded my head.

I quickly slipped off Richard's clothes as Richard went to his closet. I quickly put on the white undershirt, and I had gotten my pants up to my knees when Richard called out "wait, don't put your pants on yet" while walking out of the closet holding something behind his back.

I took the dress pants back off and waited for a cue from him. "Take off your underwear Christoph". "Why?" I said the anxiety in my gut rising slightly. Richard smiled devilishly before saying "its your punishment whore" and pulling out a medium sized black object from behind his back.

It took my brain a minute to figure out what it was. Richard was holding a vibrator. SHIT. I just mumbled out a string of "umm's". Richard ordered again "Christoph take off your underwear". With shaky hands I removed my black boxers off my body.

Richard rolled me over on my stomach, the cold air was hitting my ass and making me shiver. Richard opened his nightstand and pulled out a small bottle of lube.

I heard the bottle open and I expected to feel the cold stretch of the object but instead I felt Richard's fingers. I moaned and threw myself back on them. Richard added another making me wince slightly but I moaned all the same; "Fucking shit master, y-your fingers feel so good".

As soon as I said that and he withdrew them and I wanted to collapse and yell at him, I was hard and needy. I was so preoccupied with losing Richard's fingers that I didn't prepare myself for the pain of the vibrator and I gasped "holy shit" and winced when it entered me.

I didn't enjoy the feeling of it. It was cold and it hurt and wasn't providing the friction I needed to come. "Get dressed bitch" Richard said as walked into his bathroom to wash his hands.

"Like this? With a vibrator in my ass? Richard you've gotta be fucking kidding me" he just glared at me. 'he's not kidding'. I sat there and I jumped when it turned on inside me.

Richard stood in the doorway to his bathroom holding a little black remote. "This goes to ten, you're on a one Christoph, do you want me to change it to two ?". 'This is bad'.

I moaned and Richard barked "I said _get. ready"._ I started to sheepishly dress starting with my pants and I was pleased then the vibrating ceased and I was able to actually semi-function.

I tucked in my shirt and slipped on the over coat and a tie with various designs on it and Richard's jacket. Richard was ready to go about the same time I was. We quickly exited his room and I had to admit walking with a hunk of plastic in my ass wasn't exactly comfortable nor easy but I brought this upon myself.

We made it down to the lobby and the limo was waiting for us. Richard climbed in first and I followed after him wincing when I sat straight on my ass. "Richard are you seriously m-" my words were cut off as the vibrator turned on again; this time higher than the last. Richard uttered a single word "two".

I briefly thought about throwing myself in front of the limo but it started to move and the doors locked. I wanted to scream.

As if it wasn't bad enough Richard added coldly "Also if you come at all, regardless if I touch you or not, before I say you can; you will have much much more in store for you than just this _Christoph_ ".

Tonight was going to be a long, long night.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God help my soul. This is so bad

Richard eventually turned off the vibrator again and I was thankful. This was some kind of punishment.

It was cruel, humiliating and tortuous and I loved it. I just didn't love the fact I could come my jeans at any minute or that I was already over-sensitive and the second setting felt like an eight. The fact Richard had " _worse_ " punishments than this; left me at two complete ends of the same spectrum.

On one side I was actually some-what fearful of how deep this man is committed to punishing me, and looking at the latter.. _Quite deeply._

On the other side of the spectrum I didn't care at all. I wanted to dive into everything and anything this man was into. I didn't know what I was into, but I needed to find out. Was the thrill of getting off to something new and unusual.. exciting to me? Or was it the new and unusual thing itself?

What turned me on ? Richard or the specific things he was doing to my body? It's like there's a whole new side to sex I've never been shown..

Most people just fuck, with the occasional hair pull, and spank on the ass, but this kind of sex is just so different. It was raw, primal and unforgiving, it's like you've finally given into something deep within yourself. It's almost meant like you were meant to experience it this way.

Bound and gagged, silent and submissive. Obedient and dependent. You're dependent on your partner for your pleasure but also your pain. There's something about the spark of pain that shoots through my body when he spanks me or that little rush of whatever when he wraps his hand around my throat and I honestly don't think I could go back to having sex "normally" again.

I just loved this kind of sex now. Even though I'm so new to it. It feels so right..

I was so lost in my head I didn't even realize we had made it to the restaurant until the locks on the door made their distinct "click" sound as they unlocked and Richard tapped my shoulder. _"Ready to go?"._ I didn't say anything but I shook my head no.

For a moment his pissed off expression flooded into one of compassion and concern. His eyebrows furrowed slightly "What's wrong?". I sighed before stating "Nothing I just need a minute to sit here, my heads just kinda running wild and I have to make a good first impression... _Just like you said"._

He leaned over and I put my head on his shoulder and he ran his fingers through my hair. "You can do this, it'll be okay. And besides if you're good enough when we get back home. I'll blow more things than just your dick". I bursted out laughing at his stupid comment, but it lifted my spirits and calmed me down a lot.

Eventually I worked up the courage to walk inside; my anxiety still sky high and the black hunk of plastic still in my ass. But at least Richard was holding my hand.

This restaurant was even fancier than the last one we went to. This was the kind of place where you'd owe the manager $100 just by stepping inside.

  
Everything was gold or bronze themed except for the tables, they were made with some type of wood that was a shade above black.

It was surprisingly very dark and I was extremely grateful. It made my silent suffering a little more bearable.

The main light source came from the lights directed to this small stage that held enough room for a chamber music setting. There was a grand piano and 4 chairs. There was two violinists, a violaist and a cellist along with the pianist. They were currently playing a soft ballad.

There was small chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings dimly illuminating over the tables; just enough so that you could see across your table and see your food.

Everything was of the highest caliber. Everything about the place screamed perfection and elegance. I think if I wasn't so anxious about meeting these "important people" I could have fallen asleep because it was so peaceful.

I was knocked out of my façade by Richard gently pulling me along to our table. Richard motioned me to sit on the inside of the booth and I did as delicately as possible.

I was met with the expressionless face of a man who looked surprisingly similar to Richard. I felt the vibrator turn on as Richard began to speak and I wanted to throw myself in front of train.

"Hi Gordon it's so good to see you again! How have you been?" 'Gordon' smiled slightly and said "its good to see you too Richard, I've been good... Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend ?" Richard jumped slightly before saying "oh yes, I'm sorry, Gordon, this is my boyfriend Christoph. Christoph is this my brother Gordon".

'Boyfriend?! Brother?! Oh my god.. Its his brother and he just called me his boyfriend?! _Fuck_ ' I screamed inside my head. I'm sure if the lights weren't so dim he would have caught my deep blush and my extremely caught off guard look. I had to practically pick my jaw off the floor before I spoke as calmly as I could manage.

"Hello Gordon it's so nice to meet you". "You too, I'm sure Richard has told you a lot about me". He responded quite smugly. I just smiled and clapped my hands together as Richard turned the vibrator up higher. I bit back a moan as the waitress came over to us and took our orders for drinks.

Gordon ordered a water and Richard ordered us both something alcoholic. 'Thank god'. Richard and his brother talked about their professional lives and how Richard is rising to stardom in the fashion industry. Again it turned up and grasped Richard's hand and whined in his ear "Please turn it off, I'll be good I promise. I'll listen just please". Richard just smiled and ran his hand up my thigh, just the way he knew I liked it.

"So what exactly do you do for work Christoph?" Gordon asked sweetly. I took a deep breath and tried to calmly respond "Uhh... I'm a model. I model all types of things, from makeup to jeans or whatever they want me to". Gordon seemed unimpressed. "So how did you two meet?" I looked at Richard as he ran his hand over my  erection poking through my jeans, and he smiled brightly as ever "you tell him the story honey".

I wanted to punch him in the face. But I just smiled and said "W-well actually we first met when I modeled some clothing for his first line of men's couture. But we started getting close when he hired me to do some more personal work for him. Some more single photoshoots and one-on-one type stuff. But then he just..." Richard turned it up again and ran his hand over me and I opened my mouth to moan but I pretended to yawn instead. I continued "Swept me off my feet. He was.. Just so kind and caring and charming and he was obviously so handsome, I just couldn't help but fall for him" I said smiling.

Again Gordon seemed unimpressed again and I was beginning to fidget for a number of reasons. Gordon being rather hostile and judgemental, Richard basically torturing me to death and it was surprisingly hot in the large restaurant.

Luckily the waitress came back with our drinks and I accepted mine gratefully. I drank rather a lot of my glass in a few seconds and I instantly regretted it. While the fizzy, carbonated alcohol went down smoothly as soon as it hit my empty stomach I felt like I ate a rock. I had to fight the urge to vomit instantly, I could feel my mouth water and my body became even hotter.

"Oh so what are you dating my brother for ? His money, his name or his cock?" My eyes nearly popped out of my head and it felt like my world was exploding. Richard stopped touching me and was silent as I stammered "N-none of those things.. are you kidding me? I'm with your brother because I like him; not everything he has".

Gordon sat up rigidly "Are you sure you're just not some gold digging slut that's after what my brother has?" Richard piped up "Gordon shut the fuck up". "Never!" I yelled at him. And Gordon's eyes flashed with anger. "Oh come on! Admit it! You're a worthless whore with a cheap face that's after my brother and his money! Face it!". I couldn't breathe. I was going to vomit.

I shoved Richard out of the way and I heard him screaming as I ran to the bathroom slamming it behind me, as the alcohol I just consumed made a reappearance in the crystal white bowl. I heaved and I heaved until my stomach was empty and my throat and eyes burned. I placed my head against my arms as I began to sob.

What Gordon had said hit me hard. I was so used to hearing that from strangers and shitty tabloids that hated my work. But hearing that from someone close to Richard made it sting so much more; because if that's what they thought about me what was everyone else saying?

I heard a knock on the door followed by Richard's voice "Baby? Can I come in?" I flushed the toliet and responded with a shaky "yes". When Richard saw my face, he sighed a soft "Oh. baby". He sat beside me and cradled me in his arms. My entire world just gave way. I started sobbing.

Richard held me for god knows how long, rocking us gently as I sobbed and he petted my hair and pressed kisses to the top of my head whispering sweet little lines like "baby it's okay, I'm here", "I've got you it's okay" "shh.. angel everything's gonna be alright".

I eventually stopped crying and whimpered like a small child "Can we go home please?". He smiled and said "of course baby let's go". I kept my head down as we walked out of the restaurant and Gordon was nowhere to be seen.

The limo was waiting for us and the ride home was quiet. I just laid against Richard's chest as we shared a cigarette. We made it back to his place and we took the elevator to his room. I just wanted to sleep but Richard had other ideas.

"Come on baby let's take a shower". Eventually I was stripped and freed of everything on and inside my body. Richard stripped too but ran inside his room and turned on the music. Apparently there was a speaker in the bathroom too.

The speaker uttered a familiar bass line and drum beat and I smiled brightly as he turned on the shower and the singer began singing. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the large shower shutting the door and pulling me under the cool stream of water.

It felt so good on my skin and in my hair and I heard Richard begin to sing that familiar line "I only wanna dance with you, Every time I try, We only get an hour or so". He pressed his lips to my neck and his hands roamed my torso and thighs. I felt so relaxed. This is what I needed.

Richard quickly wrapped his hand around my cock and I groaned rather loudly. I spun around and connected my lips to his, his tongue invaded my mouth and his hand slipped in between our slick bodies. He broke our kiss to bite my neck and move his hand faster. I moaned for him, loudly. He smiled against my neck and said "yes baby, that's it moan for me". His hand went impossibly faster and I moaned his name "Richard, shit Richard, I'm gon-" he interrupted my sentence by saying "Come for me baby" and biting into my neck again.

I felt the familiar build in my stomach and my toes curled as I screamed his name as I climaxed. The water washed away my mess and we kissed again. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

Richard whispered the line _"This time with you, Is just amazing in so many ways"_. And I felt my heart flip, as we rocked to the beat for what seemed like hours. Just the two of us listening to that song on repeat under the cool shower.

It was exactly what I needed. I had discovered yet another little piece of heaven with Richard.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Till.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do all my earlier chapters sound like a 2 year old wrote them,, holy shit I'm so glad I changed up my writing style a few chapters after this and I promise it won't be as bad.

When I'm with him the days begin to blur, there's never a bad or boring day when we're together. He's my sunshine and blue skies. There's so many happy and wonderful moments crammed into a day; I don't understand how they're moving so fast.

Richard and I have grown closer and there's no doubt I'm definitely growing attached to him and I'm definitely developing feelings for him. Not just because the sex is _outstanding_. But just because of who he is. I just hope he feels the butterflies in his stomach or the sparks when we kiss. I just really hope he feels something too.

The days where I wake up in Richard's arms are definitely my favorite; there's something about him holding me close; there's something about feeling his body against mine that calms me down so much and makes me feel so good. I feel so _safe_ , I feel so comforted.

I longed for this when I was younger; to have an attractive man hold me close and call me his and kiss me and touch me and I have that. I always wanted it and now I have it. I have _him_. I have _Richard._

Unfortunately, this morning I woke up to Richard's alarm beeping sporadically in my ears and Richard was not in his bed with me.

His spot was cold. I checked my phone and saw I had a text from him.

**_"Good morning beautiful. I didn't want to wake you because you looked so adorable but I set an alarm because you have an appointment for a modeling session today. I'll talk to you more about it when you get up. Meet me in my office"_ **

I couldn't help but smile at his text. He was such a dork sometimes but I loved that kind of shit. I looked at the clock and it read 10 am.

I walked into Richard's bathroom and started to brush my teeth. I pretty much moved into Richard's room but I go to mine when Richard's busy in his office or out with someone.

I love how his space is now becoming ours. It may be gradually slow, painfully slow at some points but I don't mind. I'm just happy I agreed to this. I agreed to _us_.

When I was finished brushing my teeth and washing my face I saw Richard had laid out a suit for me. It was "his favorite one" on me. It was an olive green suit with a black shirt.

I quickly dressed myself in the suit. He laid out a tie for me as well but I felt like it looked fine without it so I left it off. I put on deodorant and the cologne Richard liked best on me.

I ran a brush through my hair and I stared at the mess. _"I really need to cut this shit"_ I grumbled to myself before getting the brush a little wet and running it through again trying to control the static and frizz.

When I was satisfied I grabbed my phone and took the elevator to Richard's office. He was sitting at his desk looking amazing as ever.

He greeted me with a long kiss and a sweet "Guten Morgen _mein engel"._ "Guten Morgen" I replied hugging him close and sticking my head into the crook of his neck. He groaned softly before whispering "Du riechst so gut". I giggled softly before responding "Du magst ist?" He pulled me closer before saying "Ich liebe".

We pulled apart and he grabbed his phone and cigarettes off his desk. I grabbed his cigarettes out of his hands. I pulled one out and Richard lit it up for me. He playfully made a joke about me being his bitch. I playfully smacked his shoulder and blew the smoke from his cigarette in his face.

"Come on let's go your photographer doesn't have much patience". We rode down the elevator and walked through the lobby out to the limo that seems to be always waiting for us.

I took another couple of drags of the cigarette, switching between looking out the window and in at Richard. "You're beautiful you know that right ?" I spoke, catching Richard off guard.

He just smiled said thank you and kissed me sweetly. I took a final drag off my dwindling cigarette before flicking it out the window. I rested my head against Richard's chest while a soft song played on the radio.

We eventually made it to a place that was as big as it was fancy. We walked in and Richard spoke to the woman at the front desk. "Yes, we have an appointment for Christoph Schneider at 10:45".

The small lady spoke gleefully "Of course right this way." she said escorting us into the elevator and pushing the button to the penthouse suite. After finally making it up at least 30 stories we stepped out into this little corridor that contained only one door.

The small woman knocked on it slightly before saying very brightly "Herr Lindemann, your 10:45 appointment is here".

The woman opened the door to a giant room filled with all things pristine and filled with all sorts of high tech photo equipment and a sky line view to boot.

But the man that sat behind his desk was interesting to say the least. He had bleach blonde hair, and dark eyebrows littered with scattered piercings, indicating he wasn't a natural blonde. Paired with a long muscular face, rough looking skin and a prominent nose that would normally not work for most people but it worked for him. His lips were surprisingly full and had two hoops stabbed through the left side of his bottom lip.

His eyes were the most striking thing about him. They were astoundingly green, they were about as complex and intricate as Richard's. But where Richard's eyes wove in dark hues of blue his wove in gold and hazel tints.

There was no denying to myself that he was attractive and I instantly felt guilty. "Ahh _Christoph Schneider_ the man of the hour!" He yelled laughing happily and embracing me tightly; our bodies flush with each other.

I was ashamed to say I loved the feeling of his suprisingly muscular body pressed against mine. His entire aura screamed stoic masculinity. The way his almost 'too small' shirt, gripped his lean body, one false move and he'd rip it to shreds.

While Richard was indeed masculine, he wasn't this masculine. He didn't have strong broad shoulders, defined and taut muscles running down his torso. 'Herr Lindemann' is someone you would picture to be 'master' material. Richard, yes and no.

Richard's physical appearance was fucking gorgeous. Torturously gorgeous. This Lindemann guy was just a different type of gorgeous.

Herr Lindemann grabbed my hands while I smiled and said "nice to meet you Herr Lindemann" and shivers ran up my spine. He flashed me a smile and said "please call me Till darling".

His hands were suprisingly rough, his hands were calloused over and that shot another wave through me. I giggled slightly before saying "okay.. Till what do you want me to do first?"

He smiled devilishly before saying "go into the bathroom and strip. There's a pair of boxers on the curtain in there". I blushed deep red not understanding. "Honey, I should have told you earlier; it's an underwear shoot, now go" Richard whispered into my ear and I was brought back to reality by my rising anxiety.

_'Great now I'm gonna have two hot as shit guys staring at me half naked for hours' ..._ God help me.

-

The shoot went off without a hitch and I tried my best to keep the school girl blush off my cheeks. I caught Richard giving me his distinctive _'I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you when we get home look',_ constantly raking his eyes down my body, no doubt planning his every step to torture the shit of me when we returned. My head was swimming.

Then I caught Till looking at me in a way I couldn't describe. It wasn't the typical 'I'm taking photos of you, lucky you' look; it was hinted with something. I watched his eyes scan over my light skin. The bruises on my hips and thighs from mine and Richard's 'less than conventional' escapades ran rampant across my skin. The marks on my neck were dwindling in color but the darkest ones were noticable if you had a kean eye.

I watched the way his eyes were constantly scanning those areas of my body. All eyes were on me.

_All over me._

Eventually it ended and I was exceedingly grateful. I couldn't take being stared at like that. I enjoyed the attention greatly but too much time in the spotlight can burn you out fast.

Till told me I could redress, so I did quickly. I greeted Till with a goodbye and a hug. He lingered on it a second longer than most would. It sparked my fire.

I was sort of sad to have to leave Till but I was also relieved until Richard hugged Till and offered _"Do you want to come back to our place and have a drink with us? "._

Till smiled ear to ear before grabbing his coat, pushing the little button on his desk and telling his 'lady Paul' to cancel his appointments for the day and heading out the door with us.

_'Well Fuck'._

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reason #29,982 why I'm going to hell.

We made it out to the limo; Richard sat on the left side, Till sat in the middle and I sat on the right. There was plenty of room but my anxiety made the 3 inches of space between Till and I non-existent.

This limo was suffocating me. I needed a cigarette. I took a deep breath before asking " _Babe_ can I have a cigarette?" I don't know why I don't just buy the fucking things myself; but I think Richard likes it when I ask him for his so I continually do that.

Richard smiled and leaned slightly about to dig through his pockets to find them when Till spoke softly "Don't worry Richard, I'll just give him one" before pulling a silver metal container out of his jacket pocket. He opened it to reveal cigarettes uniformly lining the inside of the container held in place by a wide strap in the middle.

He delicately pulled one out and slipped it in my mouth. He closed the container slipping it back into his pocket and pulling out a lighter, the same silver color as the container. He flipped the top and flicked the lighter igniting the flame.

As he touched the flame to the end of my cigarette he stared into my eyes. His eyes spoke volumes in those few seconds of contact. They were gleaming. The intricate details and colors woven together in his iris put Afremov to shame.

I wondered what he was thinking. 'What was he feeling? What secrets and what desires were hidden behind those eyes?' I noticed he bit his bottom lip ever so slightly. He was intoxicating.

I took a long drag off the cigarette and rolled the window down a bit. Till resumed talking to Richard about the evenings plans. They both looked gorgeous chattering away about the different types of expensive alcohol we could all drink.

I just watched them both laugh and get excited about nothing at all; stopping to take the occasional long drag off my cigarette and flicking the ash out the window.

In no time my cigarette was gone and we were back at Richard's. Till and Richard exited the car and kept laughing like two barely legal girls going to their first night club together. I was perfectly fine walking behind them and admiring the view.

The trip up to Richard's room was silent on my part. We stepped through the doorway to Richard's room and Till immediately went after the liquor cabinet. Richard followed.

Till pulled a nameless clear bottle full of some brown alcohol out of somewhere and Richard got us glasses and filled them partway with ice.

Meanwhile I sprawled out on the couch. "It's 4:31 in the afternoon isn't it a little _early_ to be drinking?" I said laughing as Richard set down our glasses on the table and flung himself on top of me.

"Nah, it's never too early for a drink" Richard responded pulling me up and basically sitting me in his lap. Till was sitting on the other couch kitty corner to us. He looked into my eyes again before raising his glass and saying " _Amen_ ". Before downing the whole thing in one go.

I leaned over and grabbed mine and Richard's glass off the table handing him his. I took a drink and choked and nearly vomited at the same time. It burnt and tasted like shit. I shook my head before setting down my glass and remarking _"Jesus, Fuck!_ Richard what was that and _Till_ how did you fucking drink that shit".

Richard took a drink emptying almost half his glass before laughing and saying "Babe its 18 year old scotch, if you don't like it go get something else".

I shook my head before standing up and heading to the cabinet. Richard yelled across the room "And because Till's not a little _bitch_ like you". Till bursted out laughing and so did he.

I grabbed a bottle of wine, opened it and then sat back down on the couch taking a long drink.

"Why don't you _eat my ass_ you dumb prick?" I said defending myself 30 seconds after the fact. Richard emptied his glass before getting up and stating "I have before sweetheart and you loved it!"

I blushed deep red as Richard laughed and Till locked eyes with me again for the third time today. He bit his lip again and smirked.

_Shit_.

The day continued on like that for quite a while. In addition with Till basically fucking me with his eyes from across the room; we were all just bullshiting, laughing, eating and getting insanely, _insanely_ drunk all in the process.

I had about a forth of a bottle left before I knew I had enough. I couldn't see clearly but I felt great. I offered the bottle to both Richard and Till but they both declined. I laid my head in Richard's lap.

He ran his fingers through my hair and I loved it. I hummed softly and stared at Tills' legs for a long time. Just watching, his right leg was over the left and his left leg was shaking ever so slightly. 'Or was that me?'

I also was fiddling with Richard's long fingers and he smirked "Having fun gorgeous?" he said obviously tipsy. I just nodded.

I didn't know how much time passed but downing three-forths of a bottle of wine made me need to piss, and much to our discontent I got up so I didn't piss myself on the couch.

I somehow propelled my wobbling body into Richard's bathroom. When I was done, instead of laying back on the couch with Richard. I rolled my very drunk self into Richard's bed. Before snuggling his pillow and inhaling deeply.

I didn't hear Richard come in but I heard the door click shut and next thing I knew he was holding me and kissing me. My foggy brain couldn't comprehend much other than kissing Richard and holding him close.

"You kiss really good. You know that _right_?" I said giggling and slurring softly. Richard pressed his nose to mine "I've been told so, are you really sure?" he said smiling.

I nodded shortly before rambling "you also fuck really good too, and you're gorgeous and you're sexy and you're charming as hell and your dick is huge too. Which isn't everything but it's a fucking bonus. And you look really really sexy in all your suits.. And your ugly shirts."

Richard just smiled and hummed in response before I blurted out "Well look at you Mr. Richard Zven Kruspe you're the whole goddamn package".

Richard smiled before gripping my hips and grinding himself against me "Do you want a refresher on how great my huge dick is?" Richard said rather loudly.

I blushed madly before he crashed our lips together. His hot tongue snaked it's way inside my mouth and set me on fire.

Richard smacked my ass and I moaned against his mouth. He tangled his fingers in my hair as he caught my bottom lip between his teeth.

I could tell this sex would be different than all the rest. It's sloppy, quick, and it's surprisingly hot. It's all about needing tonight. No rules, no earning the need to come, no punishment.

Just sex. Just need. Just want.

Richard bit my neck harshly before sucking on the delicate bruising skin; which elicited a loud needy moan from my mouth. Richard quickly fumbled with my pants before basically ripping them off of me and palming me through my boxers.

I groaned out his name as he continued to palm me and also grind his erection against my ass. He yanked on my hair and grunted in my ear "I love it when you moan my name _whore_ ". I nodded urgently. My alcohol and lust infused brain completely under his control "Of course master".

I shivered as his hot breath and soft lips met the sensitive battered skin on my neck, lining it with kisses and bites. Richard was teasing me and I couldn't wait any longer.

I looked into his eyes and saw them shining with lust. _"Fuck me..."_ I begged; but Richard didn't seem convinced. "Master, _please..._ I need to feel you inside of me".

That was enough for him. He smiled and stated lustfully "Anything for you my whore". He pulled me up by the collar of my shirt onto my knees. He didn't bother with the buttons in our heated moment; he ripped it right off of me.

I gasped at the display and he just stated "I'll buy you a new one.. Don't worry". And that just made it even hotter. "Fuck me.. Fuck me now" I moaned completely engulfed in him and our actions.

He spent no time leaning over to the nightstand and grabbing the bottle of lube from within the drawer. And I spent no time taking off my underwear.

"Get on all fours" Richard said as I heard the sound of the bottle flicking open and my stomach stirred in delight as I felt his lubed up self against me.

"You ready baby?" Richard asked again lustful as ever, and before I could respond Richard was pushing himself inside of me and my brain was swimming in ecstasy already.

Richard started thrusting into me and I couldn't stop the moans, I wasn't going to. Every little spark, jump or sensation that I was feeling was projected in my loud, feverish moans.

_"Fuck.. oh shit..._ Please fuck me harder" I basically screamed at the top of my lungs, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as Richard repeatedly hit the spot inside me that made me scream.

But in a split second the ecstasy was halted. It was halted by Till busting through the door laughing "okay guys I know you're gay but you gotta fu-". His mouth dropped, his eyes widened and he gasped as his eyes landed on Richard and I.

He stammered incoherently " _J-Jesus Christ! Guys... Seriously?!"_. The poor bastard was about as red as a fire truck.

Richard pulled out of me and flipped me onto my back before shoving himself back inside me causing me to moan loudly.

He stared at Till before speaking "Christ. Till stop acting like you don't want to fuck my little beauty here". He said before thrusting into me again and I moaned his name.

Till said nothing he just inhaled deeply and blushed darker, he was about 4 shades away from maroon.

Richard then looked at me and spoke bluntly "I don't mind sharing you tonight; but do you want him to _fuck you?"_

I nodded my head. Richard smiled. "Good I want to watch.." He wrapped his long fingers around my throat and gave it a playful squeeze. "..while he fucks you like the little slut you are".

He started lustfully into my eyes as I panted out an obedient "Yes master". He pulled out of me and pulled his boxers up over his erection.

He motioned for Till to come towards my naked form, and I surprisingly wasn't scared; I was giddy more than anything. I think it was the alcohol that gave me my sense of momentary confidence.

As Till walked closer he relaxed slightly. I sat up so Till could sit on the end of the bed. His eyes were wide and he chewed on his lip slightly as I grabbed his hand and set it on my chest.

He inhaled sharply as I pressed my forhead against his and whispered in his ear "Do you want me?". He smelt like cigarettes and aftershave. He nodded slightly. "Are you sure... _Daddy?"_

He groaned at the nickname I chose for him. " _Yes_ I'm sure" he responded softly. I pressed my lips against his. They were so much different than Richard's. They were rough. Everything about Till was rough and calloused over.

"Then touch me daddy" I said against his lips. I gasped as his calloused hands grabbed my ass and squeezed. _Perfect_. I kissed him again and he was so gentle and almost shy, about it.

"Have you ever kissed a guy before?" I asked between soft kisses. He nodded. "How about sex daddy?" "Yes" he said panting slightly.

"Then what are you afraid of ?" I asked before he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He never answered but it seems like he snapped. He gave into something because his whole demeanor changed.

He went from soft and delicate to rough and dominant. He not only looked the part but played it too. His kisses became hot and sloppy and involved so much tongue I was practically choking and gasping for air in between the kisses.

I helped him take off his shirt and exposed his rough, scarred arms, broad shoulders and toned chest and stomach all covered in dark hair.

I discovered something new. I liked body hair. Especially on _Till_. He was such a complete change from Richard. I pulled on his hair and kissed down his neck and he moaned softly.

I pulled him down so he was laying with his back to the bed. I kissed and bit a trail down to his stomach before rubbing his cock through his pants and his breath hitched.

I quickly undid his belt and pants pulling them off his body; noticing the rest of his body was covered in the thick dark hair and I shivered.

I pulled down his boxers and I was in awe at the sheer size of him. He was just big. I went to put my mouth on him and Till stopped me.

" _Don't_. Daddy's gonna fuck you. Where's the lube baby?" I pointed to the bottle that was sitting on the nightstand waiting to be used.

He flipped the cap and moaned as the cold gel met his hot flesh. "You wanna ride daddy _sweetheart_?" he asked. I licked my lips and nodded and looked up at Richard for approval. He nodded slightly.

I crawled on top of Till and gasped as he pressed himself against me and started to enter me. It felt so good. _So. Good._ Till placed his rough hands on my hips and I stared at the sheer differences between our bodies.

He pressed my hips down so I took more of him. I moaned at the feeling of him filling me. _"Oh shit daddy"_ I gasped out trying to take as much as I could of him.

He pulled my hair and ground out a harsh "You like the way daddy fills you up don't you slut?" I moaned in response.

He pressed my hips into him and thrusted up to meet my sinking body; making me scream in utter pleasure.

  
"Fuck.. Daddy, _harder_.. please" I screamed louder with each thrust

He sped up his actions, bit into my neck and smacked my ass repeatedly. Making me grip the sheets around his head.

_"Bitte.. Daddy.. Tiefer.. Tiefer.. Ich brauche mehr.. bitte"_ I begged like a whore. In compliance to my begging and without warning he flipped us so I was on the bottom and he was on the top. Sinking himself all the way inside me and causing me to belt out the loudest moan I've ever managed.

I moaned in between kisses and the smacking of skin. I clawed at his back and he continued to trust impossibly deeper inside me. "Shit.. Daddy.. I'm gonna _come_ ".

He moaned out "Good baby.. Come for Daddy" as he wrapped his fingers around my cock and started jacking me off.

I was shaking uncontrollably and I could feel my orgasm building when I heard Richard cry out in ecstasy and I watched him come into his hand.

That was the final straw. My climax was mind numbing and nerve frying, it had me begging for more as soon as it was over. Till quickly pulled out and came all over my lower stomach groaning in between kisses.

Till, Richard and I all laid on the bed catching our breath. Till briefly walked out of the room and came back with his jacket and a bottle of wine from the cupboard. He dug inside his pockets pulling out his silver cigarette holder and lighter out of his jacket.

He pulled out 3 cigarettes and Richard set the ashtray on his lap as we all took turns lighting our cigarettes and drinking from the bottle.

Till and Richard both had their arms around me. We didn't say much. We just enjoyed each others naked, comfortable company. About 2 cigarettes and about 15 sips in, I was feeling great.

"Well I'll have to hand it to you both. This was amazing. I loved it. 10 out of 10. We gotta do it again sometime" I said slurring my words slightly. Richard as he put out his cigarette and Till took a last sip off the now empty bottle.

Till gave Richard a look before speaking up _"How about round two?"._


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up and the first thing I noticed was my pounding headache. And that both Till and Richard were gone. I whined loudly and rolled over; instantly regretting it. My stomach churned violently and I ran to the bathroom.

I vomited loudly; the contents of my stomach burning my throat and nose like wildfire. I immediately regretted everything that took place last night. Well almost everything. Just mainly the excessive drinking.

Finally after wretching up the last of the vile contents of my stomach; I laid against the wall. My head was throbbing, my legs were shaking, my mouth was watering; signaling I could easily have another wretching fit at any given moment. And to top it off my ass was aching from repeatedly having Till and Richard's dicks inside of me all night long.

_'How can this get any worse?'_

_"Reesh!!"_ I whined, resembling the way a 4 year old would whine for his mother. I heard footsteps and casually dressed Richard entered his bathroom.

"Oh my poor baby, do you need me to take care of you today? Did you have a rough night?" he cooed like a caring mother but the last sentence almost boarded on a sarcastic tone.

I nodded my head as tears pricked my eyes. I was never super emotional but hurting hungover me was a completely different story.

Richard left momentarily and came back with a water and a couple of aspirin. I took them gratefully. The ice cold water calmed my burning throat. Richard left again but came back a few minutes later with a piece of toast and I stared at it like a rabid dog near water.

"Come on babe you _need_ to eat" he cooed softly. I turned away afraid to put anything in my stomach after the grand display I just had. He nugged me as he sat down next to me.

"Please babe just one bite. It's not good to take medicine on an empty stomach, and besides after we can take a bath together and I'll give you a back rub and everything. Just take a bite _please_ " he insisted.

I took a bite out of the toast and my stomach stirred slightly but I continued chewing before washing it down with some more water.

The bite was enough to make me wanna vomit but I inhaled deeply trying to calm myself down. I got up brushed my teeth and then Richard walked me into the bedroom and had me lay down as he started a bath.

I was just starting to drift off when Richard lovingly woke me up and told me that the bath was ready. I walked in and I almost wanted to cry. It was so beautiful.

The lights were off but the room was illuminated by various candles placed across the room. The bath had a mountain of bubbled and it smelt heavenly. I was so in awe of everything until Richard took it another step up. He was playing our song quietly in the background.

If I wasn't so hungover and exhausted I might of just fucked him on the spot. I gave Richard a long hug and he pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. _"It's so perfect"_ I whispered in his ear. He responded with a simple "I'm so glad you like it".

Richard then stripped himself before lovingly and delicately undressing me. Richard got into the bath first; the bubbles shifting around him and eventually covering everything up to his chest. Richard grabbed my hand as I steadily got in.

I was instantly encased in Richard's arms and surrounded by the relaxing hot water. I laid my head on Richard's shoulder and mumbled in his ear "Mein Gott, we should do this everyday".

Richard laughed softly and chimed in with a sweet "If it makes you happy beautiful; then of course". I was no longer speaking from my brain, just my heart "You make me happy Richard, I mean if we even lived on the side of the road in a cardboard box as long as I'm with you, I'd never _not_ be happy.

Richard laughed again and responded "Oh I'd never let that happen baby". I planted a few kisses to his neck and he breathed deeply as he ran his fingers up and down my arm sending chills up my spine.

I hummed in content. I loved moments like this they were perfect. "What day is it?" I whispered. "Thursday my love.. _Why?"_ he responded softly.

I admitted like a small child "I want to make sure this isn't a dream, I want to make sure I'm not going to wake up and be sleeping in my old apartment alone; without you. Every morning I wake up and I'm so so scared that one day I'll truly wake up and this will all just be a figment of my imagination". He turned to face me and he cupped my cheeks as he whispered "Baby... This is real. I promise".

Since I was already admitting my deepest fears; I decided to ask him the question that had been plaguing my mind since the minute we agreed upon this.

My voice shook as I asked him barely above a whisper "Why did you pick _me_? Why did you want me Richard? What made you decide that _'Christoph Schneider'_ was the one you wanted ?". I felt his heart quicken slightly as he responded in the same tone "Do you want the whole truth or do you want a comforting lie?".

I inhaled deeply before responding "the whole truth... Please". He mimicked my actions before stating in a monotone.

"Originally since the first time I saw you rising to stardom I had a slight crush on you. I don't know what it was about you but I viewed you in a completely different light then anyone else ever. I convinced myself that it was because I loved your face, and I loved your body. But even today, I still don't know for sure. Then I started telling myself that I thought you would be an amazing little whore. I thought I'd just fuck you and use you and you'd leave soon enough. After all, you looked like the type to want a master and your entire aura resonated complete and utter submission. So I thought I'd take a shot in the dark and see if you'd want me too. Working with you vaguely only increased my desire for you. Until one day I couldn't take spending my days lusting over someone I'd met twice. I've had more fantasies and wet dreams about you than I'd care to admit. But now it's more than just sex. Now it's so different. You're so _different_ Christoph. Du bist wunderschön".

I shivered at his words but I felt my heart ache as well. I felt more vulnerable and more fragile than ever. Whether the ache inside me was due to pain or love I wasn't sure. I just did the only thing I could. I kissed him.

It started as a simple kiss, but then Richard looked into my eyes and shot me a look I couldn't resist. Our kisses became more and more intense as we were both fighting to ignore the ache his admission caused.

We kissed for what seemed like hours before he held my head in his hands and whispered "My love forgive me but I need to confess this to you. _Tut mir leid,_ but... I'm leaving, I have to for work". I breathed heavy as the news hit me like a truck.

It felt like all my air was gone from my lungs. A tear slid down my face as I asked him shakily "For how long?" He looked down before stating "Two months". More tears fell from my eyes as tears welled in his.

I gasped; my voice teetering on exposing everything I was feeling. "Where are you going? When are you leaving?" He apologized once more as tears fell from his eyes "Baby.. I'm so sorry". I grabbed his face as I asked more harshly as more tears poured out of my eyes "Where and When?".

He avoided my gaze as he whispered _"New York._ I leave on Sunday". And with that I felt my entire body give way and fall into pieces.

_'It just got so much worse'._

 


	12. Chapter 12

Much to my discontent and silent fury Sunday was fast approaching. The rest of Thursday and Friday flew by like nothing.

Now it's Saturday morning and I'm trying to spend every second with Richard. _'I honestly have no idea what I'm gonna do when he's gone'._ He's been trying to make up for leaving so soon but it's out of his hands. Its out of our hands.

"I'm sorry about everything baby" he said sighing deeply before pulling me even closer to him in bed. I looked him in the eyes. "How long did you know before you told me?" I asked my voice cracking slightly and I felt my tears starting to form in my eyes.

"My manager Oliver told me that he booked a really important deal with a huge company out in New York on Monday, I didn't realise that I would have to leave you until after. I spent every second of every day trying to find the right time to tell you.. But I just _couldn't_ find one".

A tear slid down my cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb before he kissed me softly. His soft lips pressed again mine was one of the things I'd miss the most.

I would miss so many things about him. I would miss so many things he would do to me. Like the fluttering in my stomach whenever he kissed me gently, the feeling of his hands running through my hair, the feeling of his fingertips tracing soft shapes into my thighs and the shiver that runs down my spine.

The feeling of his lips brushing against my ear, the chill that runs through me when he calls me baby, the feeling of his fingertips sliding into the waistband of my underwear to grope my ass.

His soft laugh. His smirk. The way my head rests perfectly in the crook of his neck. His intoxicating scent. His aura. The way he presents himself. The way his eyes almost glow when he gets excited. The way he can rock suits and sweats. Just him. Just Richard. I was missing all of him endlessly; and he hadn't even left yet.

"I gonna miss you so much" he said sighing deeply. "I'm gonna fucking miss you too" I mumbled pretty much whining. "What am I gonna do _without_ you?" he whispered brushing his lips against mine. I pressed my finger against his lips even though he just asked the question we were both thinking.

"Don't think about that right now. That's tomorrow, this is today." He nodded slightly before grabbing my hand and kissing my knuckles.

I stared deep into his eyes. "Just take me Richard. One last time." I said whispering against his lips and grabbing his hand and placing it on me. "Come on babe. Touch me.. Please". He licked his lips before rolling me onto my back and I giggled.

He pulled my hair slightly and I moaned gently. "That's my whore" his smiled grew wide as he pulled himself off of me and reached under the bed for the handcuffs tied to there.

Richard and I broke his smaller pair during one of our numerous sexual occasions so Richard invested into some more sturdier ones.

These ones were extremely different compared to the old ones. The old ones were just a simple pair that you'd tie around the headboard bars and my arms would stay up near my head. These ones pulled my arms out straight and we're tied onto the bars underneath the bed.

Richard pulled the cuffs around my wrists and fastened them and I felt my stomach stir as I tested the straps; pulling on them and having them only allow me to move half an inch or so. Richard then got up and walked over to his closet grabbing some things and coming back.

The first thing he had was a leather gag, the most striking thing about it was the red ball in the middle which no doubt I would bite on. I raised an eyebrow at it but complied when Richard commanded a simple request "open".

He quickly fastened it around my head. It took me a minute to get used to the overwhelming taste of rubber in my mouth and it was hard to swallow the salvia in my mouth but the look Richard gave me was worth it. His eyes shined slightly as he pulled a black piece of silk off the bed next.

Again I raised an eyebrow but Richard quickly dismissed my skepticism by leaning down to my ear and whispering "Do you trust me slut?" I couldn't speak due to the gag so I nodded my head. Richard's gaze grew even more intense as the cloth ran over my eyes. Then everything was black.

I couldn't deny the stirring in my stomach due to this new addition of our routine. I felt Richard pull off my boxers and I lifted my hips to help him out. The cool air on my naked body caused me to shiver slightly.

Richard laughed and I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke "You're such a good little obedient slut. I've taught you so well". This was _intense_. Not being able to see Richard or what he was doing left me on edge. In the good way.

I heard the dresser draw open and then a bottle flick open. I inhaled sharply as I felt something pressed against me. It was awfully cold and I shuttered. I tried to speak but it was mangled due to the gag. As Richard pressed the thing into my body; I arched my back and moaned. Feeling the thing inside of me and sparked something from a previous encounter.

My blood ran cold. _Oh no_. It was the vibrator from the night at the restaurant. I tried to protest but then it flipped on and the vibration was amplified instantly. I moaned and I felt Richard's hot breath against my neck and the vibration inside me.

As much as I hated the thing it felt amazing. It was turned up again and moaned louder pulling against my restraints. I tried to beg "Richard. Please" but again it came out as unintelligent noises.

My moaning just got worse as the setting went up even higher and I felt Richard's hand wrap around my cock. I moaned harder as his hand began to move up and down my shaft; just slow enough to have me shaking.

Everything intensifying as Richard growled, his voice low and demanding "You're my little whore aren't you baby?". I moaned and nodded my head urgently.

He continued in that same low voice "Yes you are. You're such a good little slut. I bet you want my cock inside you so bad. I bet you want to feel me fucking you so deep and hard; You'll come without me even playing with you."

I groaned as the vibrator turned up two settings higher. I involuntarily pulled my legs up to try to keep them from shaking harder than ever before. Richard then took the opportunity to thrust the vibrator in and out of me.

I screamed overwhelmed by everything and shaking from pure need. "I need to come. Master! I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come!" I moaned from behind the gag hoping Richard could understand some of my muffled pleas. 

Richard continued his actions and I felt the feeling starting to bubble from deep within my stomach. He bit my neck right in my favorite place and I cried out. "I bet you wanna feel me come deep inside your tight little ass. I bet you wanna come, right as you feel my come pour into you. Do you wanna come _baby?"_ he asked his mouth right beside my ear.

I cried out against the gag. I'd had all I can take. I moaned out in a last ditch attempt for permission "Please!". At last Richard growled "come for me slut" and sunk his teeth into my neck again. I climaxed as soon as he said those words.

I cried out louder than I ever had before. The feeling of his teeth against my skin, his hand pumping my cock and the vibrator thrusting inside me was all so much. Even after I had stopped orgasming and the high had wore off I was still shaking.

Richard had cleaned me up along with the toy and the gag. He eventually took the blindfold off and the look he held in eyes was pure ecstasy.

He uncuffed me and shoved them back under the bed. He pulled my naked form into his arms and I was still shaking. He smiled before mumbling softly "If I knew you would have liked it that much.. I would have done that to you way sooner".

I blushed deep before nestling my head into the crook of his neck inhaling his scent deeply. He pulled us closer and I felt his erection against me. I whimpered slightly and he just ground against me.

I pulled my head out of its hiding place before staring deeply into his eyes. He pulled me in for a long passionate kiss; his tongue slipping into my mouth and I moaned against it. I pulled away before stating simply " _Richard_... Make love to me please".

His eyes widened slightly at my request. My voice shook as I whispered softly "All those things you just talked about to me. Do them. Make love to me baby. Not to your slut or your whore but to _me_ now... Please."

I saw something register in his eyes before he connected our lips again. His tongue found mine and I took in everything. His scent. His taste. His touch. The way his tongue melded with mine and made my mind go blank; it was something I never wanted to feel with anyone else.

He quickly pulled off his boxers before he pulled me onto my back again and continued to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he dug his finger tips into my thighs. "Look into my eyes" he moaned softly. I stared deeply into his ice blue eyes as I felt him align himself to my entrance and push in.

I gasped loudly at the intrusion but our eyes never broke contact. He thrusted in and out of me a way he never has before. It wasn't fast, and it wasn't about how fast he could go.

He thrusted in and out of me so I could feel every inch of him entering and withdrawing from my body; over and over. I was feeling him. I gasped and he groaned with every trust. Everytime I felt him flush with my body I arched my back.

We stayed like that, staring into each others eyes, looking deep into each other as we explored each other in the most intimate way possible. I was completely open to him and he was completely open to me.

Soon Richard and I were both close to coming. Richard was the first to announce it. "Shit.. Baby. I'm gonna come". I moaned and clawed as his back as he wrapped his hand around me once again.

His lips connected with mine in another lengthy kiss. He stared deep into my eyes as he moaned loudly and he came inside me. The look in his eyes and the feeling of his warmth filling me was enough to send me over the edge again.

We stilled and stayed looking into each others eyes for a moment. As we separated he spoke something I had to have him repeat to make sure I heard him correctly.

"What?" I asked my heart skipping a beat. He smiled before breathing deeply and staying louder this time "I said.. Christoph.. Ich liebe dich".

I smiled from ear to ear as tears streamed down my face and I gasped out "Ich liebe dich auch". He kissed me and pulled me into him tightly as I mumbled against his lips.

"Ich liebe dich auch Richard... _Ich liebe dich auch"._

 


	13. Chapter 13

_Sunday_.

It was Sunday. The day I had been dreading every second of every day since Richard had delivered the news.

Richard had packed his bags and had Paul carry them down last night after our numerous rounds of passionate sex. I just wasn't ready to have him leave. I didn't want him to go. I wanted him to stay and be here with me.

_"Stay!"_ I whined loudly for the millionth time today. Richard's plane departed at noon and sighed when I read the clock. 9:18 am. I knew Richard would have to leave at 10 so he could make it to the airport on time and still be able get through security and then customs and then boarding in a timely fashion. 42 minutes. That's all the time I had left with him.

Richard laid with me; wrapped in the sheets. He had gotten dressed but still covered up and laid with me to help 'make me feel better' in a way.

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly before taking my face in his hands and whispering " _Baby.. I can't.._ You know that already". I pressed my lips against his to trying to push his words out of my head.

_Two months. Two. Months._

He ran his thumb across my bottom lip and I felt my heart sink. I let out a deep breath, I was close to sobbing. As much as I wanted to have my emotions get the best of me I wasn't going to.

I was going to spend this time with Richard. The man I loved. The man who loved me. Richard ghosted his index finger along my face; pulling a stray hair out of my eyes before whispering " _Babe..._ I have to tell you something.. and I hope you don't take offense but I want you to be taken care of when I'm gone okay?"

I smiled not completely understanding; before stating simply "I know angel, I'll be okay. I'll take care of myself". Richard protested softly "No baby that's no-" but I silenced his words by placing a tentative finger against his lips.

"I don't want to talk. Just lay with me love... Be with me for right now okay?" I asked trying to keep my emotions under control. Sadly, my voice cracked in the middle of my sentence and Richard picked up on it.

"I have something for you _okay?"_ Richard whispered in my ear before grabbing two things from his closet. He must have a fucking stash in there or some shit.. Maybe there's a store hidden behind one of the ten thousand rows of clothes.

It would explain a lot.

One was a simple black shopping bag. He pulled out a small rectangular shaped box. It was red and had some kind of gold lettering. He handed it to me and beamed. "Open it sweetheart" He said enthusiastically.

I opened the box and inside was a thin silver necklace with a little heart pendant on the end. I turned it over and it read "An meinen Geliebten Christoph". (To my lover Christoph)

"It's beautiful Richard... thank you so much" I said my smile as big as his. My hands shook slightly as I tried to free the necklace from the box. "Here baby let me help you" Richard said radiating pure happiness.

Richard pulled it out of the box delicately. He unclasped the chain and I held up my hair as he fastened it around my neck. He walked me into the bathroom in front of the mirror.

He stood behind me and I felt his breath against my neck. In that split second; my mind raced. It sparked a memory to the first time I was in his office. His words rang out in my head.

_'There's nothing that I wouldn't give you. Everything your heart desires; I would give it you. If you just give yourself to me.'_

I was pulled out of my reverie by Richard gently wrapping his arms around my waist and asking "So baby what do you think?".

I stared at myself in the mirror the long silver chain and pendant dangling perfectly around my neck. Then I stared at Richard's soft pale hands around my torso. Then I stared at his beautiful face. "I love it... _So much"_ I spoke smiling from ear to ear and placed a sweet kiss against his lips.

He then pulled me back out into his bedroom and opened some sort of large case. He opened the case to reveal a dark blue acoustic guitar. I was in awe. "B-but Richard I _don't_ play" I stammered dumbfounded.

He smirked before responding simply "But.. My love.. _I do_ ". I beamed even harder as his fingers expertly moved on the guitar creating the most beautiful sound. The fact Richard could play guitar just intensified my cheesy love for the man.

I don't know why.. Maybe it's some unspoken human rule ingrained into our genes but when someone can play the guitar they're just instantly more attractive.

He continued strumming, the tune was a beautiful soft melody. He never sang; but my heart swelled as he continued to delicately play the guitar. I watched the way his hands moved with ease and he stared down at them making sure he moved them correctly.

But in the middle of our beautiful little bubble it happened. His phone went off. Our sweet little bubble of melancholy love and romance was shattered. I looked at the clock and it read 10 am. Richard's eyes gleamed with sympathy.

I wonder if he knew how hard my heart was slamming against my ribs. I wonder if he knew how in that instant; my heart was exploding and shattering to pieces. I wonder if his heart ached for me the way I was aching for him. I wonder if he felt how hard it was for me to breath and how that alarm chime was ringing in my ears like white noise.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry but I felt the tears prick my eyes and start to make trails down my face. I _needed_ him. I _loved_ him. Richard wiped the tears from my face but they were soon replaced.

Richard kissed my lips and I felt my heart and stomach flutter. " _Tut mir leid..._ Ich liebe dich.. To the ends of this earth and back. Christoph, du hast mein Herz". My voice cracked as I whispered "and you have mine".

Richard embraced me and then pressed another sweet kiss against my lips. "I will call you when I land. I love you so much Christoph.. You don't even know". He grasped my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles before gently releasing my hand from his grip.

I couldn't bear to watch him leave.

I turned away as his footsteps became quieter and quieter until I heard the door click shut behind him. The sound echoing in my ears and cutting the last mental string to my sanity.

I just laid my head on his pillow; inhaling his scent and crying for him. I sobbed for what seemed like hours. Eventually, I was pulled out of my little hole of misery by a knock at the door.

It was probably Paul coming to tell me I was crying too loud or to give me a box of tissues then leave. I wiped the tears from off my face, there was no doubt I probably looked like fire hydrant.

My heart toyed with the idea that it was Richard but I knew that was probably not the case. I inhaled sharply, trying to collect myself the best I could before answering the door.

I wasn't prepared for who I was about to see. I stood face to face with the egotistical motherfucker know as none other than

_Till Lindemann._

 


	14. Chapter 14

"What the hell do you want _Till?"_ I growled, more annoyed at his presence than anything. "Ouch.. Nice to see you too _sunshine_ " he said smirking, my annoyance obviously doing nothing to his enormous ego.

" _Fuck off_ " I said basically spitting in his direction. He laughed while walking inside. "Well you know sweetheart, I'll gladly do that.. As long as you help me".

I sneered at his arrogance; anger bubbling deep within myself due to the fact I still felt a pang of attraction to the douchebag. After all having someone's dick in your ass usually involves harboring some sort of feelings.

He continued gloating before pulling a cigarette from his silver holder in his jacket and lighting it; a gray cloud of smoke surrounding him instantly. He exhaled before talking, much to my dismay.

"You know _baby_.. That's no way to talk to your _daddy_ " he said raising a pierced eyebrow and plopping himself down on the couch.

I sighed loudly; frustrated due to Richard being gone, my attraction to this asshole and the feelings I got when he called me nicknames. I sat down on the couch across from him and put my head in my hands. "What do you _even_ want Till?". He laughed taking another long drag off his cigarette.

My irritation only grew due to the fact he didn't give me a straight answer; or an answer in general. I blurted out  "Honestly why did you come here? I don't need you marching your fucking egotistical ass self in here when I'm trying to deal with my own shit right now _okay?"_

Till's expression dropped before momentarily picking back up into the same expression as before. He sat next to me on the couch and I felt in that moment; I could just drown myself.

He spoke finally "I'm actually here because Richard told me to take care of you when he's gone.." He grabbed my chin between his index finger and his thumb forcing me to look him in the eyes. He spoke calmly but I could see the fire in his eyes as he uttered _"But I'd watch your tone whore, before I fuck that shitty little attitude right out of you"._

Again I felt a pang of attraction to his words and my level of self-hatred only grew. I sighed and threw myself back on the couch in utter frustration.

I missed Richard. I didn't want to deal with Till. I didn't wanna deal with any of this; I just wanted to sleep until Richard came home. I wanted Richard leaving to be a shitty dream.

"Christoph please sit up" he almost commanded in a calm monotone that bordered on cold. I obeyed his request and his eyes lit up slightly as my actions. He put his cigarette out on the ashtray on the table before grabbing another one and offering me one.

I gladly accepted; he grabbed his silver lighter and lit my cigarette for me. I inhaled deeply. The first drag already had my head spinning and I welcomed the short nicotine buzz with open arms.

Till and I said nothing. We just sat next to each other on Richard's couch silently smoking cigarettes; before Till broke the silence with a simple "No offense baby but you look like shit.. Do you wanna go back to my place? We can just drink and I have a few ideas in mind to cheer you up.." he smirked before continuing "How does that sound?".

I ignored the anxious feeling in my gut and accepted Till's invitation for a drink; and maybe a nice rough fuck if I was lucky.

I inhaled the last bit of my cigarette before putting it out and nodding my head "Yes please I could use a drink or two". Till smiled eagerly before I grabbed my coat, key and phone and walked out with Till in tow.

-

We made it back to his enormous place and I checked my phone. I had a text message from Richard.

**_"Look I know you didn't want to talk about this earlier but I wanted you to know that I asked Till to take care of you when I'm gone. Obviously since you have needs and I can't be there to fulfill them for you, I asked Till. He's basically going to be me, now that I'm not there for you. I understand if you're mad at me but I'm only doing what I know you'll need later on. I hope you understand."_ **

I sighed again closing the message from Richard as we entered the lobby. We went up god knows how many floors to his gigantic whatever you would call it; because it was more like a house than an apartment for christ's sake. We stepped inside and I was silent. All the things Till had was insane.

He closed the door behind us. Till then removed his jacket and tie and unbuttoned and took off his shirt before stretching and groaning. I couldn't help but stare as his toned muscles gently moved under his skin. He scratched at his ribs and his sparkling eyes met mine. I darted my eyes away trying to look at anything but him but I knew he saw me.

He was obviously amused because he chuckled slightly before coming up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and ran his hands up my clothed torso. The shiver that ran down my spine was only magnified by him whispering against my neck "Do you like what you see _baby?"_. His hot breath against my neck was the spark to my kindling.

He grabbed my jacket and took it off of me and tossed it onto the chair. He turned me around to face him. His hands slid into the waistband of my underwear and he squeezed my ass with his rough calloused hand. My breathing quickened as he kissed down my neck and pulled his hand out of my jeans. He stuck his finger in his mouth and I knew what was coming. The feelings of both pure anxiety and utter desire waged deep within me.

His continued placing an astounding amount of kisses and bites all over my neck. He slowly placed his hand back in my pants. The feeling of anxiety started to rise higher than anything else inside me. As I felt his finger pressed against me I jumped from his grasp.

I tried desperately to formulate a cognitive sentence from my frazzled brain. I stammered a childish "L-look T-Till I thought we were here to have a d-drink". He smiled wickedly before sticking his finger in his mouth and sucking on it softly.

He paused before he spoke; the same wickedness on his face was now displayed in his voice  "Very well Christoph... But don't think that's _all_ we're here for". I shuddered against his gaze and he walked over to his huge liquor cabinet. I walked over to his couch and his voice boomed from across the room.

"I'm sorry babe, but I don't drink wine so I don't carry any.. How's cherry vodka sound?" My mood picked up slightly and I desperately tried to swallow my sky high anxiety. Before quickly facing Till's direction and chiming a sweet "Yeah.. Cherry vodka sounds great.. Thanks".

Till boomed again "Do you need anything to wash it down with?" I shook my head. Vodka wasn't that bad, sure it burnt a bit but nothing I couldn't handle. He brought back 2 shot glasses and a brand new bottle of cherry vodka.

My stomach and head both stirred slightly in excitement. I loved drinking. Most of the time. This was one of the times I knew I was gonna love it.

I had a lot of shit to forget and after all; three in the afternoon was never a bad time to start the massive festivities. Till filled both the clear glasses and he lifted his class before smiling and saying " _Prost!"_ I laughed slightly before saying _"Prost!"_ as well.

Our little glasses making a little ' _clink_ ' sound before we both threw our heads and our shots back. "You want another round ?" Till asked gleefully and I just nodded accompanied by a small "please".

We continued that routine for quite some time until Till thought it was a better idea to drink straight out of the bottle. That's when we both really starting feeling the alcohol set into our blood stream. I laid back against Till; laying in between his legs as the world spun distantly around me.

"Till.. Can I have a cigarette please?" I asked looking up against him and batting my eyes at him for added effect. "Uh uh that's not my name baby.." He mumbled happily to himself. "Then what is it?" I asked like a giddy four year old. He just smirked.

_"Oohh.."_ I said understanding what he meant. I laughed slightly before saying again "Fine... _Daddy,_ can I have a cigarette please?" His face lit up like Christmas and he nodded slightly before saying "Well of course you can baby boy".

Something stirred deep inside me at that nickname. Till softly tapped my nose before placing a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it for me. He took a drag off it before giving it to me. I happily accepted it.

My muddled brain was only muddled further by the fresh nicotine flooding into my system. I thought hard about what I was gonna say and I sat on the thought for a minute. My brain just didn't wanna let me say it until I forced myself to.

"I'm sorry about everything earlier Daddy... I was just upset about Richard and sometimes your ego just pisses me off sometimes... I don't know why." I admitted like a tiny child revealing their biggest secret. He just laughed and I felt the muscles of his body moving back and forth as he did so. "That's okay baby boy, I'm not mad anymore" he said wrapping his arms around my waist and running his hands up my shirt.

I played with my hands in my lap and mumbled out softly "I really like when you call me that..". He leaned his head down and nibbled on my ear; he whispered in my ear "You like when I call you what?" I felt my cheeks darken as I whispered _"Baby boy.."_ He smiled against my neck before whispering "Well that's good to know baby boy".

I shivered at his words and he began to kiss my neck again. I gasped loudly as he bit down on my neck and started undoing my shirt. He pulled me around so he was on top and in control. He pulled my shirt off and connected his lips with mine.

Till kissed me so much differently than Richard. But it was a different kind of different.. A good kind. He roughly grabbed me through my jeans and I cried out loudly against his lips.

I pulled away to moan "Daddy.. Take me to your bedroom and fuck me endlessly" I begged. He pulled me up and walked me to his bedroom. Again I ignored the nagging in my gut and focused on Till.

Till was here for me right now, Richard is fine with it. After all he organized this whole thing. So why do I feel so guilty?

I connected our lips in a sloppy hot kiss and groaned against my lips as he pushed us down on the bed. He doused my needy neck, chest and stomach with red, hot kisses and stopped at the hem of my jeans.  

I groaned and thrusted my hips up as to ask for more. I breathed heavy as he undid my jeans and pulled them down along with my underwear. I laid down on the bed as Till raked his eyes all the way down my body.

He panted softly as he undid his jeans. Hastily pulling them down and off his body; to my surprise Till wasn't wearing underwear. I looked as body in awe marveling at such a sight. Till possessed such a beautiful, taut, strong, tan body; and the dark hair spread all across him only added to my attraction to him.

I flipped onto my stomach and pushed my ass into the air; teasing him with a soft moan and a sweet "Take me daddy... I'm all yours". Till grabbed a pair of simple handcuffs and locked them above my head. I was quickly testing them out when I felt a swift hard hand smack against my right ass cheek and I moaned loudly.

Before I could protest further I felt the action repeated on my other ass cheek. I groaned from the back of my throat as I felt him gripping my sensitive flesh. "Are you ready baby boy?" Till asked gripping the back of my hair pulling harshly. I moaned out a needy "Oh god, yes daddy".

Till hummed in content, as I felt one of Till's fingers press against my entrance;  I moaned loudly as he pushed it all the way inside of me. He thrusted it in and out of me and I whimpered, begging him to add another.

He ignored my requested until I moaned against the sheets "Daddy! _Please!_ " He added another finger and I wanted to scream in utter need.

I needed him and he knew that. I begged him again "Daddy! fuck me please... Please!". I felt Till's weight shift on the bed and my stomach stirred in excitement. I heard the sound of Till spitting into his hand.

I moaned and grasped at the headboard bars as I felt Till's length pushing inside of me and stretching me. I moaned a loud string of noises as Till began roughly fucking me.

"That's it baby boy.. Moan for daddy, let the whole city know how good your daddy's fucking you" he said trying to keep his breathing even. I moaned even louder as he thrusted into me harder.

I panted hard with every trust and desperately tried to break myself from my restraints. The pleasure Till was giving me was mind numbing. I was drowning in ecstasy. I moaned loud over the sound of our skin slapping together.

I had no idea how long we had been fucking but I was drowning in pleasure and and I could feel the feeling in my stomach building.

By the sloppiness of Till's thrusts and the sound of his moans getting louder I knew he was close. "Touch me daddy" I said gasping for him. Till wrapped his hand around my cock; timing his thrusts in sync with him jacking me off.

I was practically screaming every moment after that. My cries just got louder and louder and my need to come just became more and more intense. "Daddy! I'm gonna come!" I cried at the top of my lungs. Till said nothing he just went harder.

I felt my climax climb to its peak and I shook madly as I came all over Till's hand and I cried out the word " _Daddy_ " over and over. I was panting and and seeing white as Till moaned loudly as he pulled out of me and came all over my lower back.

I laid on the bed catching my breath and Till cleaned me off with the dirty sheet he was pulling off the bed. He threw the sheet in a pile in the corner.

He then covered me up with a comforter and then crawled underneath the comforter with me. My head spun and my heart slammed in my chest as he pulled my shaking form into his strong protective arms. I deeply inhaled his scent.

He smelt like soap, cologne and sweat. And for anyone else I probably would have been grossed out but it was Till so it was different.

Till placed a gentle kiss to my lips before whispering "So how'd your _daddy_ do so far _baby boy?"_

 


	15. Chapter 15

Till pulled me closer in bed and I leaned into him, our naked bodies connected in a tangled mess of sheets and skin. I knew I was still a little inebriated so I couldn't have been sleeping very long.

Till placed a kiss to the top of my head and I felt my heart race and my stomach drop with guilt. _'This isn't wrong.. We've done nothing wrong.. So why do I care so much?'._

Till is an excellent lover and he's quite charming; Richard obviously trusts him to 'take care of me' so why does it feel like I'm struggling to breathe. I was interrupted by my phone ringing faintly.

_Richard._

I jumped out of bed and Till grunted at my sudden movement. I grabbed my wadded up boxers from off the bedroom floor as I giggled basically running into the kitchen; despite my mind and feet going two different paces.

I dug threw my pockets and saw that my suspicions were correct. Richard's name illuminated my phone screen. I answered my phone gleefully.

My heart slammed in my chest as I heard his voice through my phone "Hey gorgeous.. _Miss me yet?"_ I smiled instantly and a blush spread across my cheeks. "Hi angel.. _And always."_ I said like a love struck teenager.

His soft laugh boomed through the phone as I innocently toyed with the necklace he gave me. "What time is it for you babe ?" I asked curiously. "Uhh New York is 6 hours behind you.. Its a little after 3 in the afternoon here" he spoke loudly into the phone.

I gasped loudly as I felt Till's strong, warm arms wrap around my suddenly cold body. "You alright baby?" Richard asked voice full of concern. I laughed slightly and responded nervously "Yeah of course babe.. I'm just at Till's place and he scared me".

Richard's voice dropped considerably as Till laid his head into the crook of my neck. His was clearly shocked but still tried to remain positive "Oh babe.. _That's great.._ What are you doing with him?". I picked up on his discomfort so I knew I couldn't tell him the truth.

"Nothing angel. Till showed up at our place after you left and said that he was gonna take me out and cheer me up.. So we've been hanging out at his place. I think I needed a change of scenery or else I would have laid in bed all day moping about you honestly". He exhaled hard into the phone before saying quite relieved "Oh okay baby that's not a problem.. Look I'm sorry about everything but I gotta go my rides here.. I need to get to my hotel and then go to a meeting straight after so I'll talk to you tomorrow okay baby?".

My stomach turned with guilt for lying to him. But I knew that if he knew that he hadn't even landed in New York and I was off fucking Till; it would not do any of us good.

I tried my best to sound as normal as ever "Yeah no problem love.. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you". He chimed into the phone a sweet "I love you too honey" before ending the call.

I set my phone down on the counter and I pulled away from Till; I sat down on the couch and grabbed the still quarter way full bottle of cherry vodka and I drank heavily. It stung more this time as it went down than before.

Till made a repeated small noise _"Tsk, Tsk, Tsk"_ before sitting down next to me and lighting up a cigarette before speaking condescendingly "Such a shame.. Master's little baby is such a dirty little liar.." I shot him a glare before defensively shouting back "I didn't fucking lie to him".

He took another drag off his cigarette before speaking "Oh so what? You just accidentally left out the part where I had my cock inside you all night. Is that it?"

I nearly choked on the vodka I was drinking due to his words. I finished off the bottle; grimacing at the aftertaste before I cut my eyes at him and spoke "I don't need this from bullshit from you Till. And you can't say shit because in case you forgot.. You were equally involved in that activity as I was. _You prick"._

Till laughed slightly and smiled before speaking venomously "Ah yes I was.. But you see baby boy.. I didn't lie to Richard about it."

I inhaled deeply before completely losing my patience at his words. I shouted at him at the top of my lungs "We didn't even do anything wrong !! Richard set this thing up! He gave us.. Meaning you and I permission to fuck! Stop acting like I cheated on him or something you fucking _asshole_!".

Till just raised an eyebrow at my anger and frustration and spoke cold and defensively " _I_ never accused you of anything nor did I say any of that Christoph.. Why do you have a _guilty conscience ?"_

I felt everything just bubble over and I slammed the now empty bottle down on the table; causing it to shatter upon contact with the table. Sending the shards of thick glass in various directions as well as into my hand.

My right hand instantly bled and a slow pain crept up my arm. I'm sure that if I didn't finish off the bottle beforehand the pain would have been a lot worse. Its like everything after that moment had continuously played out in slow motion.

Till gasped loudly before throwing his cigarette down in the large ashtray and shouting; "Christoph you daft fucking _idiot_! What did you do that for? You're bleeding everywhere!! Jesus fuck _Christoph_!!"

He ran over to the counter and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my bleeding hand. He walked me away from the bloody mess on the floor and into the bathroom over the bathtub.

Till ran around panicking looking for something. I just watched him silently as my hand continued to radiate pain and spill blood. He looked under the sink and pulled out a white box.

I stared into his panicked green eyes and he unclipped the white box and opening it up. A first aid kit. He was breathing heavily as he removed the towel off my hand and tried to inspect it.

Surprisingly there was very few cuts on my hand; there was only about 5 spread around the palm of my hand and the start of my wrist. None of them were deep they were just long. There was only one big piece of glass in my hand and Till removed it with ease.

Till looked for glass in my remaining cuts by pushing down on my hand and looking for any sign of pain. Again I remained silent as he continued his efforts of tending to my wounds. He pulled out a medium sized brown bottle and warned me in a sweet voice "Babe.. This might sting a little". Before pouring the clear liquid over my skin.

It did hurt but I remained expressionless and silent. White bubbles rose up to the top of my cuts along with my blood. He repeated that for a bit until my bleeding stopped considerably and the bubbles stopped appearing.

He shook my hand slightly and placed a few layers of white gauze over my cuts before wrapping it tightly with a roll of white stretchy ace bandage. He then held the bandage in place with little silver metal ties that he stuck into the bandage.

His eyebrows furrowed in concern that was apparent in his voice as he spoke "Is that too tight _love_? Or does it need to be tighter ?" I said nothing I just stared at my hand.

Till sighed before walking me into his bedroom and laying me down on the bed. I heard Till run the water in the bath for a minute no doubt cleaning out the mess I made in there. Then I heard him open and close a door in the hallway. Then there was only the sound of glass gently clinking and scrapping together.

Then there was the sound of a muffled crash.. Probably Till dumping the glass in the garbage. The water ran for a minute. I didn't know what he was doing. I didn't care that much I just laid motionless staring at the wall.

Till eventually walked into his bed and pulled me into his warm arms. He sighed deeply as he whispered in my ear "Baby boy.. I'm so sorry for what I said earlier.. I didn't mean it.. _I swear._ " I just made a noise from deep within my throat.

The first sign of life I made in an hour. Till quickly rolled me over so I was facing him. I stared into his glowing green eyes. They were swimming with concern and anxiety. His eyes were drawn to the silver chain hanging around my neck.

He inspected the small silver pendant and flipped it over. He read the inscription softly to himself. "An meinen Geliebten Christoph". His cheeks grew a mild pink and he scoffed lightly. He rolled over so I was no longer facing him.

I remained silent as a tear rolled down my face. Till was right.

I was guilty. I deserved to be.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update but I changed up the writing style a bit in this chapter because I was re-reading through some of my old chapters and I was worried that my original writing style seemed pretty bland. So if you guys could give me feedback on that; that'd be great. Anyway here's the chapter. Thanks again.

" _Baby boy.. come on.. please talk to me"_ Till insisted for the eighth time today.

I just didn't feel like talking. _'What was there to talk about? Till had made his feelings very clear last night.'_ Till had grown upset and irritated at what he nicknamed "my grudge".

Till had tried all sorts of methods to get me to speak; from sweet and kind words to downright temper tantrums. Yet I continued to stare at anything other than Till in complete silence.

His eyebrows furrowed in irritation and anger. _'Here comes another tantrum'. "Christoph!_ Why are you doing this?! I said I'm sorry! Baby I take it all back just please.. Please talk to me".

I decided finally; I had enough. I spoke for the first time since the fight the previous night. I hadn't realized how cold and emotionless my voice was until my voice rang out through my own ears.

"There's nothing to talk about anymore Till. You said what you felt; now I would like to go home. Please take me home".

He looked visibly crushed by my words; like they were a plethora of bulldozers coming to tear down Till's tiny little village that was planted on his heart.

The devastation he held in his eyes was one for the movies. He quickly regained his composure before uttering out a shaky "Okay if that's what you wish then I won't stop you.. How's your hand?". I wanted to roll my eyes at Till's pathetic attempt to change the subject; but I cut him off and I made my intentions clear.

My voice was even more harsh and unforgiving that it previously was when I spoke "Till.. It is fine. Stop changing the subject. _I. Want. To. Go. Home_.". The defeat in his eyes hung heavily but he complied with my request.

__

The drive back to Richard's was full of awkward tension and fleeting looks from Till. I continued to simply ignore him and pray to whatever-the-hell is up there that I get home soon.

_'Maybe I'll get piss drunk and then fall asleep in his bed again. Or maybe I'll just lay in bed and wait for his call.'_ I had boundless opportunities and a shit ton of time; so why not?

When I finally laid eyes on the building with Richard's name engraved on the front; I couldn't help but want to throw myself out of Till's limo and through those doors as fast as possible. But before I could; Till grabbed my hand.

" _What_?" I sneered simply frustrated and exhausted with the blonde. His eyes were kind and held hints of sadness; most definitely the complete opposite of mine. Till pleaded like a broken record

"Please.. Can we t-" I cut him off. _"Till.."_ I started off strongly but my words softened the longer I spoke. "Give me three days. That's all I need. Just give me there days to myself so I can relax.. Then we will talk about it okay?"

His lips curled up slightly into a smile. He leaned in and placed a small gentle kiss on my lips. As mad and upset I was at him I couldn't help but want to kiss him again; but I didn't.

I opened the door before stepping out. I stood in the doorway of the car and smiled slightly. "Three days okay?" I said sweetly. Till was now sporting a full smile before responding "Three days".

I shut the door and the limo drove off as I walked through the doors of Richard's building. The place just smelled like home.

I pressed the button to Richard's room and smiled as the elevator doors closed and I ascended upward.

__

I slid the key into Richard's door and I smiled instantly, surrounded by mess and the smell of Richard; candles, soap, strong cologne and the faint smell of cigarettes.

I needed a shower. I quickly stripped myself of my clothes and pondered what to do with my hand. _'Put a bag on it?' 'Make sure it never touches the water?' 'I'll just take the shit off, the cuts need some air anyway.'_

I removed the ace bandage and massaged my aching wrist and hand. All of the cuts scabbed over to heal; but they still were very sensitive and my hand had that wrinkly look and sweaty feel to it.

I turned on the hot stream of water and stepped under it gratefully; sighing deeply in content as the hot water relaxed my withered and achy body.

I washed myself and my hair with Richard's shampoo and wash and I felt like I was in heaven. The scent instantly sent memories flashing through my head.

_'Bitte.. Christoph, sag ja'._

_"Good baby, now you do realize I have to punish you to make sure you don't disobey me again.. Correct ?"_

_"On your knees whore"._

_"C'mon, dance with me"._

_"Now it's so different. You're so different Christoph. Du bist wunderschön"._

_"I said.. Christoph.. Ich liebe dich"._

My stomach turned and a shiver ran down my spine as my body struggled to contain the emotions those memories caused me. My heart ached but also swelled at the thought of Richard. How I had ever won over a man like that... I'll never understand. He was perfect. And I was just me. Its just me.

I quickly rinsed and dried off; strutting around with a towel on my head and one around my waist. I grabbed a pair of boxers.

It was a little cool for just boxers so I decided that I was gonna wear one of Richard's night outfits. I grabbed one of his undershirts and a pair of his sweats. I unfolded the pair of pants and something fell to the ground with a small 'thud'.

Cigarettes. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of Richard all flustered and grumpy looking for his cigarettes endlessly; then just giving up and buying a new pack.

I opened the pack. Only two cigarettes were missing. "Nice" I said softly to myself. I slipped the pants on and felt something still in my pocket. A lighter. 'Even better'.

I lit up a cigarette before walking into the other room and grabbing my phone. It was nearing 11 pm. Richard would be calling soon. I subconsciously pulled the necklace Richard gave me slightly and I sighed happily.

I took another drag off my cigarette before I saw the black shopping bag sitting all by itself in the corner. I grabbed it quickly and laid back on the bed.

I grabbed the small velvet box and tossed the black shopping bag aside.

My fingers brushed against the soft velvet outside and my heart skipped a beat. I traced my fingers around the gold cursive lettering that spelt out 'Wellendorff'.

I was tracing my finger along the outside of the box when my hand brushed up against something that wasn't velvet. I opened the box and saw something peaking out from under the bottom layer of velvet. I pulled on the very edge and the whole bottom opened up. Inside was a folded up piece of paper.

My heart slammed erratically in my chest with uncontrollable glee. I unfolded the paper fully and instantly recognised as Richard's handwriting. It was dated last Tuesday.

**_Dear Christoph,_ **

**_I'm writing you this because I do not have the guts to tell you this to your face.  There's so many things I could write about you.. There's so many things I want to show you. I wish you could view yourself the way I view you. Because to me you're stunning. Absolutely stunning. You've just got the most exquisite.. everything. There's so many pieces of you that I wish you could see the beauty in. Like the way your eyes squint slightly when you laugh or when you bite your bottom lip, just the littlest bit when you're concentrating. Or when you speak English and your accent is so thick on some words I think I could just die,, because I love it so much. Christoph I'm writing this to tell you. That I love you. I'm in love with you. If you don't feel the same that's understandable and I respect whatever choice you make. Just please let me know how you feel._ **

**_Richard.._ **

I exhaled a breath I didn't even realise I was holding in. My heart, head and soul were spinning in euphoria. I re-lit my diminishing cigarette and took another drag.. I needed to stop shaking so bad.

I opened up my phone and saw I had a text message from Richard.

**_"Hey babe.. I'm sorry but I can't call you tonight. The business meeting has now turned into a business dinner. I love you so so much. You're the love of my life. I'll call you as soon as I can. I promise"._ **

Usually my heart would sink at the news of not hearing his voice tonight; but I was over the moon. Nothing was going to dampen my mood; even this.

I took a final drag off my cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray. I shot him a text saying that I understood and I knew he was busy and that I still loved and supported him. I was honestly tired anyway.

I pulled my hair out of the towel and threw it on the floor before turning out the light and falling asleep on the sheets that smelled of Richard.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love the sexting.

I was never kean waking up alone; even when I was a child. I would crawl into my parents bed and sleep at their feet from as far back as I can remember. I've always faced my deeply ingrained fear with contention.

Waking up alone was something I just didn't want to do. To wake up and realize that you've slept again in a bed devoid of all sounds. In pure _silence_.

There was no being enraptured in your partners steady rhythmic breathing. No hearing them mumble softly in their sleep. No soft groans or hitches of breath when their dormant bodies awaken slightly; to throw their sleep ridden self in a different postion. I was _terrified_.

My heartbeat quickened as my clairvoyant subliminal fear rose in me slightly. In the midst of my pre-panic attack over something as silly as waking up alone; I inhaled deeply. I tried to control my discomposured breathing; 'In and out Christoph. In and out.'

In between the beats of blood running behind my ears I was met with silence. My blood was boiling with apprehension; and my skin was freezing with fear. I was expecting deafening silence to ring out against my ears; but the longer I laid there; motionless and inhaling deeply I realized something about the striking silence.

It wasn't the heartbreaking, cold tension-filled silence I always feared it would be. It was quite the latter. It was peaceful and almost soothing. Then I listened closer and the blood and silence stopped ringing against my ears all together.

I heard it.

The steady ' _click_ ' of the clock rang out.

" _Click, click, click_ " chimed the clock in an unharmonic, monotonous rhythm. Unmotivated and unmoving; I listened to the rhythmic 'click' of the clock as it ticked away the seconds.

It was steady and constant. I decided that would be my rhythmic heartbeat when Richard's not here; Or _Till_. My heart sank as I inhaled sharply and the colliding scents of both Richard and Till clung to the sheets; like dew on grass in the early morning hours of spring.

My heart beat slowed continuously and eventually to a normal level as I listened to the clock. With each ' _click'_ of the clock I felt my fear decend back within my lurking subconscious.

My steady stream of deep breaths and calming mindset eventually brought my fear completely within me again. I mentally locked that fear away; under heavy lock and key. I opened my eyes and I was surrounded by no one. And I realized how much I truly loved it.

The content; the silence; the tranquility. It was pure exhilaration at its finest. It was so freeing; to know you could wake up and be content with your own company and not have to rely on another's to make yourself feel whole. To know in your heart that at this moment in time; your company is good enough for yourself was pure ecstasy.

I rose from the bed in a disheveled state but with a strong peaceful mind. I heard my cellphone ring and I pulled it off its place; plugged in and on the nightstand. An unknown number was flashing across my screen. I picked it up and answered softly "hello?".

I was greeted with a familiar voice stuttering slightly into the phone " _H-hello Sir.._ I was going to pick up some food would you like anything?" Questioned Paul. I made a slight face at the bizzare question but instantly accepted the offer. "Hell yeah Paul! Can you by any chance get me some Chinese?". His laugh echoed throughout the line and he responded with a simple "what would you like ?" I laughed as his laugh; igniting my happiness almost instantaneously.

"Just some lo mein, egg rolls and those weird little cheese things! Those are fucking fantastic" I said like a fat kid in a candy store. "I'll pick it up and bring it to you after". I beamed into the phone; uttered a thankful goodbye and hung up.

I sprawled out back on the bed when my phone started ringing again; I sighed heavily thinking it was Till and he obviously didn't understand what three days meant. But I was wrong.

It was Richard calling to facetime. I gladly accepted the call and I lit up at the face of my prince charming holding the phone at an unflattering angle. I held my phone up exposing my smile and Richard beamed and sauntered out a breathless "Hey sweetheart".

I nearly screeched at the sound of his voice. He was beyond enchanting. I was lost in an endless stare into my phone; begging, praying, wishing to see him in real life again. I was lost in meaningless sweet conversation with Richard when there was a distinct ' _knock_ ' at the door.

I nearly fell out of bed in utter enthusiasm. Richard laughed as I screeched the word "Chinese!" at the top of my lungs. I opened the door to see a chipper Paul holding a bag of Chinese. I gave him huge hug along with a grateful succession of thank you's before he laughed and walked away.

My mood dropped a bit when Richard sighed heavily. Sending a plethora of bulldozers over my tiny heart village with the simple sentence "Babe, I love you but I have to go. I need to be up in four hours." I wished him a sweet goodbye and looked deeply into his eyes before hanging up.

_At least I had Chinese._

'Thank you Paul for not making my day a complete mess.' I uttered silently in my head; before gratefully chowing down on blissfully artery clogging mess that is fast Chinese food.

About halfway through my Chinese and three-forths the way to being full my phone went off again. "Jesus fuck who is it now?!" I yelled slightly irritated at the fact I couldn't watch tv and eat food in goddamn peace.

I quickly put away the remaining Chinese food. My heart quickened and my stomach shook slightly as I opened my phone to a message from Till.

" ** _Baby boy.. I know you said three days but I can't wait three days for you. Please let me come over,, I'll make it so worth your while._** "

My stomach lifted in a rush of adrenaline and dopamine. I felt the familiar rush of fire under my skin.

I heated up considerably at his words; and I pondered for a minute. 'Do I enforce the three days or do I take this opportunity to tease the fuck out of Till?'.

After a few moments consideration; I decided I wasn't going to pass this rare and exquisite moment up. "Oh daddy, how are you gonna make it worth my while?" I typed feverishly.

A scene of an extremely frustrated and horny Till flashed through my mind with delight. My response internally sending a wave of utter delectation through my body as I pressed the 'send' button. In the midst of waiting for Till to text back; I decided to take Till's teasing to a whole new level.

I searched the cluttered closet; high and low until I found what I was looking for.

One of the numerous pairs of black lacy thigh-high stockings and underwear Richard bought for me. I smirked at the sound of my phone going off. I quickly slipped the stockings and underwear on after shedding my sleepwear.

I unlocked my phone showing another message from Till and I beamed at his response; knowing how bad I must be getting to him. " ** _Oh baby boy.. There's so many things. Let me come over. After all it'll take me three days to show you them all"._**

I took an insanely lubricious picture of my ass. I'll have to admit my ass looked damn good. The striking contrast between my pale skin and the dark lingerie really meshed well and made for one hell of a nude. I just sent Till the photograph with no message and eagerly awaited his response.

No less than a minute later Till sent me another message. " ** _Holy shit baby I'm gonna mark up that pretty little ass of yours. Just you wait."_**

I felt my stomach flutter and another rush of fire coursed through my veins as I inhaled deeply and laid on my back. I spread my legs wide and placed a hand over my crotch before snapping a picture and sending it to Till again.

A few moments later I received a few texts from Till in quick succession. " ** _You fucking little whore. You're such a goddamn tease."_**

**_"Wait till I get my hands on you. I'm gonna punish you and fuck you like the whore you are"_**. I felt my cock stir in response to his words. Its like I could hear him speaking them; making them all the more sensual and stimulating.

I sent him a simple "Do it daddy". I don't know what I was expecting when I sent that because no more than 5 minutes later; there was a loud and persistent knocking at my door.

Followed by the rough voice of Till calling out.

_"Baby boy.. Open the door"._

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mother forgive me for I have sinned.

"Baby boy... I know you're there. Don't make me tell you _again_ " Till boomed; slamming on the door repeatedly sending loud bursts of sound through the air.

_'Shit what do I do!?'_ screamed my subconscious. I heard my phone ring. And Till called out again menacingly _"Baby boy.."_. 

I pictured the peace I felt this morning and I loved it. But god I loved the feeling Till gave me more.

My mind was racing as I pictured Till's chiseled, perfect body thrusting into me. My body shook helplessly as the memory of his skin colliding with mine ran through me.

I inhaled sharply as my dilapidated brain ran through so many memories with ease. A chill ran up my spine as I thought about the way my skin stung in delight after he spanked me mercilessly. The way he ghosted his fingers over the sensitive pink flesh; the way his rough lips kissed the imprints he made on my skin. I would shudder as he took extra care drawing out my ardent torture.

I was so helpless against him and he reviled in it. He could control me with such ease, I was unsure how I could ever submit to him so completely. Another lustful memory rang through my head.

My hands were bound and I was shaking slightly in anticipation as Till's naked form towered over me. Completely destitute to his unforeseen actions. His tongue ran over the sensitive skin on my neck and my breath hitched. His hot tongue elicited moans and loud gasps from my mouth as he ran it over the most sensitive areas of my body. I melted for him so easily. I was a panting, moaning mess by the time he had made it to my inner thighs. It's almost as if he was a fire; blazing trails and igniting my forest into helplessly and utter devastation.

I loved the feeling of the fire coursing through my skin. I loved the fire Till gave me. I loved the way his rough actions hurt so good. The littlest actions ignited my pure lust for him. He was the striking of the match that burnt down my house of cards. I loved the fire.

_Das feuer liebt mich._

My brain had come to a screeching halt as Till slammed on the door again. I had made a decision. My brain screamed

_"Get him."_

I took strides towards the door still gowned in the lingerie. My whole body was shaking as I placed a tentative hand on the locked doorknob. I quickly unlocked the door and I opened it to see Till, stoic as ever but his eyes were teaming with the emotions his face refused to convey.

His eyes were glossed over and his face was stern as his eyes roamed my barely clothed body. My restless body stirred under his intense gaze. He said nothing as he walked in with a profound; almost cold gate and piercing, roaming eyes before slamming the door behind him and locking it.

He came up behind me and my breath hitched violently as his strong hand wrapped completely around my throat. He leaned in and brushed his lips against my ear as he growled.

"You think it's fucking fun to tease me _slut!?_ You've seem to forgotten who's in charge here.."

I shook my head and he released my throat from his grip. He ground his erection into my backside and a loud and needy moan passed my lips. "I'm sorry _Daddy_ " I whimpered softly.

He spun my submissive form around to face him; his eyes glared into mine as he weaved his fingers into my long hair and pulled my head back slightly. "Get in the bed and get on your hands and knees, _now_ " he commanded.

He spun me around and walked behind me. Each stomp of his boot against the floorboards fanned the flames of my languishing need for him. We walked inside the bedroom and my stomach stirred as he spanked my ass before wordlessly pointing to the bed and removing his boots.

I obliged with his previous command and waited for his next move. I watched over my shoulder as Till removed his coat and shirt and tossed them on the floor without a care. He began undoing his belt. My body stirred restless with need as I looked away and shook from anticipation.

I felt Till's weight shift onto the bed and I inhaled deeply. I gasped loudly as Till's leather belt made contact with my ass; sending clamant pain and deferred pleasure coursing through my veins. He struck my ass again and I moaned loudly.

"Count for me _bitch_ ". He spat before striking me again. I moaned out a breathless _"One, Daddy"... "Two, Daddy"... "Three, Daddy.." "oh god".._

He continued his actions, his lashes getting progressively stronger with each strike. I lost count at twenty-two when his hits became so much I couldn't keep myself from shaking. I was on the verge of physical collapse. "Daddy,, _please_!" I begged loudly. He struck my ass again and I moaned even louder.

My panting was interrupted by Till's leather belt looping around my neck. He put the belt through the buckle and pulled until the belt was flush with my skin. Till flipped me over so I was on my back. He placed a hard, passionate kiss on my lips before roughly ripping the black lacy underwear directly off my body.

"Daddy.. Fuck me please" I whined breathlessly. He released his grip on the belt to walk over to the nightstand; retriving one of the countless bottles of lube stashed inside.

He walked back over to his previous spot in between my legs and I shook as he opened the bottle and lubed up two of his fingers before he regained his hold on the belt. He peered into my eyes as he spoke "Baby boy.. Spread your pretty little legs for Daddy".

I released a hard breath as his cold, thick fingers began pushing into me. My body stretched for him; as I moaned out a helpless "daddy!", against the strain of the belt.  I threw my head back as his fingers quickly gained speed and began hitting all the right places.

A string of curses mixed with the word daddy left my lips profusely. Till spoke after tightening his grip on the belt to grab my attention. "Listen _whore_.. I'm gonna make you come with my fingers". He trusted his fingers into me especially hard and I cried out in pure ecstasy.

He punctuated each word of his next sentence with a yank on the belt, _"With. only. my. fingers"._ He pulled his fingers out of me completely and I sat up in complete submission. He pulled me close to him before speaking in a very reserved monotone. "If you touch yourself, I'll punish you worse than I ever have.. If you thought earlier was bad, you haven't seen anything. I have punishments that would break you easily. If you stayed with me for two weeks.. All the things I would show you. All the things I would give you... Believe me _slut_ , I'd whip you into the perfect little whore".

I nodded my head feverishly mumbling a soft "Yes Daddy, I understand" as Till shoved me back down and pushed his fingers inside me again before pressing his lips against mine in a hot, sloppy kiss. My fingers clawed at his back as his tongue roamed my mouth and his fingers gained even more speed.

I moaned against his mouth and dug my fingers in his back as I felt that familiar feeling pool in my stomach. I threw myself down on Till's hand and gasped loudly " _Fuck_ I'm gonna come".

I knew Till loved seeing me this way. Fervently begging, salaciously gasping and passionately moaning for him to touch me in my most intimate places. Defenseless, exposed and open all for his endless taking. A smile grew on his face as he leaned into my neck and whispered "That's it baby boy.. Come hard for your daddy."

His fingers brushed a spot inside me that made me moan and urgently beg for his previous actions to be repeated. His fingers pushed against the spot and I screamed in carnal need. His fingers kept pushing and playing with that spot inside me pushing me closer and closer to my climax. Loud grunts and desperate moans left my lips as I raked another long set of red marks down Till's back.

He sank his teeth into the sensitive flesh on my neck and my legs shook. He growled loudly "Come for your daddy whore" before pushing his fingers in me as deep as they would go and yanking harder on the belt. A painful moan escaped my mouth as I came for him; throwing my head back and my hips up against his fingers. Till took great pleasure in my actions whispering sweet little lines in my ear as I came down from the intense high my body had just experienced.

"You're such an amazing whore baby; Daddy's got surprises in store for you little one". My thighs shook as Till removed his fingers from me and then removed his pants and his underwear. I laid and he stood there as our eyes roamed each other intently.

I made a small motion with my finger beckoning him to come over to my laying form. He crawled his way over to me and rested between my legs. He removed the belt from around my neck and kissed the red indentations it had made there. He pressed our lips together in a kiss, it was just as hot sloppy as the last few.

I heard the bottle momentarily open and then shut. My stomach stirred as I imagined what Till was doing to himself. I didn't have long to imagine before Till was pressed against my entrance. He groaned loudly and I just dug my fingers in his back as he started entering me.

The pleasure I felt was mind numbing. Till had taken up a fast and rough speed that had me moaning instantly. Over the sound of colliding skin and the noises of intense pleasure escaping our mouths. I almost didn't hear it.

My phone was ringing on the nightstand.

Till only increased his speed as the ringing continued. "Ignore them. You're busy" he moaned loudly before wrapping his hand around my cock. I moaned as his hand moved as fast as his body and I shook madly and moaned deeply.

My phone stopped ringing and Till grunted a soft "good boy". My body was shaking like a leaf and I knew I wasn't going to last long. Till knew that too.

Shortly there after I was announcing once again that I was going to come and Till grunted in agreement. For the second time today, my body buckled in white hot pleasure.

His emerald green eyes were swimming in mine as he pulled out and I gasped in over-sensitivity. He commanded a simple "open" before pushing himself into my mouth. The taste of myself was all over his cock and he moaned in content before he began fucking my throat. Not long after he was coming down my throat in a long string of curses and groans.

His sweaty body laid down next to mine as we both regained our breath. Till pulled my ravaged body closer to him. I felt so small in his big hands. Till kissed me again before panting out a small and breathless "That was _amazing_ baby boy".

I nodded softly before nestling my head into the crook of his neck and falling fast asleep.

 


	19. Chapter 19

The next handful of days flew by like nothing, it was a tedious cycle. Besides the occasional facetime or phone call from Richard; it was always just Till. I would wake up next to Till, I would eat with Till, I would talk and laugh with Till. I would have sex with Till; I constantly did everything with Till and I felt the familiar rush under my skin at his smallest actions.

Except this morning was different. There's no accurate way to describe how I felt waking up this morning. It was a feeling I knew all too well, but I could never accurately describe. All my life I've always had undeniably flagrant emotions.

I was always conveying them; regardless if I wanted to or not. I couldn't help it, its who I was. I was always stuck with excessively irrational peaks of emotions; that not only affected my ability to understand others but also myself.

_I mean, how was I supposed to care about 'so-and-so's feelings if I couldn't even pinpoint my own?_

Being built this way mentally, it hindered me beyond reason. It made the easiest tasks become the 'greatest turmoil' I'd come to face up to that point; even something as simple as making a decision was hopelessly exhausting to me.

I would always uselessly ponder what possible outcomes could come of the decisions that loomed over me. I would never be able to make a strong decision. I would always pick whatever seemed a little less daunting.

My erratic emotions played a big part of my character and they seemed to dictate most of my thought processes as well as everything else. I've seen the many ways I react to situations and most of them mortify me to my core.

No matter what emotion I feel; happiness, angst, anger, degradation, humiliation, whatever. I always made hasty, rash decisions fueled by nothing but raw emotions. I know one day that will cause my downfall.

The more melancholy part of my brain likes to believe I'm a person who thinks more with their heart than anything else; and that should be viewed as a good thing. But what do I do if my heart's not telling me anything? Or if it's telling me too much?

What was I supposed to do when my heart stopped making my decisions for me? When it was too clogged up with so many feelings; they were no longer feelings. They were just a big conglomerate of complicated mush. That left my heart numb with hypertension, and the other parts of my body struggling, to do anything.

What was I supposed to do when Till pulled me into his strong arms and peppered my neck with lovingly tender kisses and brushed his fingertips ever-so lightly over my body? How was I supposed to react if my body was frozen? How could I admit to myself that my stomach fluttered and my heart raced as if Richard was touching my skin.

He placed a soft lingering kiss behind my right ear before whispering "Good morning sweetheart". His voice was coarse with sleep and my stomach stirred as he pulled me even closer into his strong, loving warmth. I mumbled softly in reply to neither deny or accept the loving nickname and the sweet tone that rung in his voice.

He laughed softly before whispering again "So _gorgeous_... I have big plans for us today". I mumbled again. I was upset at myself for loving the way his accent muddled his English slightly.

He continued his tangent excitedly "It's gonna be so good for you. I hope you're gonna love it. I've noticed you've been a little less like yourself these last couple of days and it'll be great for you to get out of this place for a little bit". In the middle of his tangent he began stroking the hair out of my face lovingly and I shuddered at the gesture.

I ignored the soft ache that spanned across my ass as I walked out of my bedroom and into my bathroom. Sometime during the previous few days we switched over to hibernating in my room instead of Richard's because constantly banging Till in Richard's bed didn't help lighten my emotional load.

I quickly stripped and started running the water as my body ached again. I turned around and looked at my healing ass in the mirror. Where the striking red and purple belt-shaped bruises once stood, they were now replaced with a soft yellow color that meshed into the lightest purple in some areas. They had healed immensely in the last handful of days but they ached slightly from time to time.

I think the damage that Till had inflicted on me that day had really affected him more than it did me to be completely honest. Sure, my ass was uncomfortable and pretty painful to say the least but Till's attitude had done a complete 360.

He was no longer stoic and utterly domineering that spoke harsh commands; he was amiable and his mood was nothing but loving and warm. His voice was always gentle and he was extremely affectionate to me. This 'new Till' was amazing, I just couldn't help but cringe in embarrassment over the feelings that resided in me.

I stepped into the shower and I exhaled deeply as the hot water relaxed my aching body and my heavy conscience. I sat in the bottom of the tub and just let the water run over me. _'What was I going to do?' 'Why was I doing this to myself?' 'Why?'_

My thoughts were quickly interrupted the shower door opening and a fully a clothed Till stood over me. His face portrayed pure empathy. I felt my eyes prick with hot tears and I felt them mingle with the water streaming down my face. Till pulled me up and turned off the shower and wrapped me up in bundle of towels.

My guilt didn't diminish with his actions; it only grew. He walked me out to the living room and I couldn't contain my anguish. A loud sob wrecked my body as he pulled me in close. He cooed softly " _Baby... Shh_ it's okay I've got you sweetheart". My mind flashed back to a memory of Richard holding me and it only caused me to sob harder.

After god knows how long of Till holding me while I cried, he pulled me off his shoulder gently and tipped my chin up so I was forced to look at him. Again his voice was filled with unwavering concern "Sweetheart, you know it bothers me to see you like this. Please talk to me".

My breath caught in my throat, causing a choked noise to utter out of my mouth. I felt my face burn as my eyes released another round of hot tears that cascaded down my face. Till wiped them away with his thumbs and pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to my lips.

"Don't cry anymore angel. Whatever it is I promise it's not at all what you think it is; and I'm sorry it's making you so upset. But I've got this whole day planned out just for you beautiful". I inhaled deeply as I wiped my face dry with the back of my hands, embarrassed I'd let him look so deep within me and see my weak shame.

I hated letting people see me cry, but I couldn't keep my emotions under wraps.. _'I was a walking human conundrum'._

After finally pulling myself together I swallowed my guilt and shame and I dressed in some jeans, a black button up shirt and some plain black boots. I ran a brush through my hair and reminded myself again that I needed to cut it.

Till smiled at me before sliding his hand in mine and walking out the door.

_

As I climbed in the limo Till made me aware that we were traveling to an unknown "special" location but we had to stop at his for a minute so he could change.

The ride to Till's was short. He offered for me to walk up with him but when I opted to stay in the car he smiled sweetly and reminded me he'd be right back down. Knowing Till that would mean he'd be half an hour. So I took this opportunity to steal a cigarette from Till's jacket he left in the car.

I fished for a lighter in his pocket and found it hiding under his cellphone. I quickly lit the cigarette as the thought raced through my head. _'Should I?'._

My head said yes, but my heart said no. The one time that damn thing wants to tell me something is now. I willed myself against my better judgement and quickly typed in the passcode I'd seen him type a hundred times before.

I pulled up his text messages and saw that the most recent thread of texts were from Richard. My eyes darted up as my anxiety flared and I pressed the thread.

Richard had sent him an earlier message today that read ** _"Hey man, how's our little angel doing today?"_** to which Till replied **_"I haven't seen him, after all the conditions of our agreement was 'sex only' remember?"._ ** My stomach sank and I struggled to breathe; Till lied to Richard and just hearing them speak so plainly about me like that.. It made me need to vomit.

I swallowed hard as I scrolled further. Richard replied again **_"Well maybe pay him a visit tonight.. He's bound to 'need' you. Don't rough the whore up too much"._**

Tears pricked my eyes and I felt the bile rising in the back of my throat. I read Till's final text taking a long drag of the cigarette trying to keep myself from shaking **_"Oh please! What else are you paying me for?_ _And besides the little slut loves it. So he's in good hands. I promise his ass will be in one piece when you return home"._**

I was utterly mortified by what I just read. I quickly closed the thread of messages and stuffed his phone back in his pocket as I saw him walk out the front door. I took a collective deep breath and quickly wiped away the stray tear off my face.

I made myself look as if I was nonchalantly smoking a cigarette and playing on my phone as he opened the door to the limo once again. He greeted me with a big smile and I just felt sick to my core. He was holding a small gray bag and he was beaming.

I returned the brightest smile I could muster. "Baby boy I was gonna wait to give this to you until the end of the night but I don't know. I kinda want to give it to you now. What would you prefer?" I shrugged slightly and he just smiled before shoving the bag towards me. I took a final drag off the cigarette before flicking it out the window and holding the bag in my hands.

I raised an eyebrow at Till as he yelled excitedly "Open it baby!". I pulled out a black case and I was utterly stumped until I opened it. Revealing a solid gold watch. I gasped loudly in shock as such an amazing gift. 

I stammered out a weak and disheveled "I-it's amazing Till holy shit _thank you_ ". He was smiling from ear to ear as I slipped it on and fastened it. He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto him so I was straddling his waist.

I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he leaned in and whispered a soft "Do you like it _sweetheart?"_. I just nodded as my stomach ached in unease.

He grabbed my hips and ground my ass against his lap, I felt him getting hard underneath me. I let out a gasp as he lined my neck with a fresh line of hickeys. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was slowly dissipating but my head still screamed in digust.

He palmed me through my jeans and I moaned as he bite down on an especially sensitive part of my neck. _'What do I choose? What do I choose?'_ I asked myself. My brain, my heart and my soul were all silent.

I was angry. I was upset.

_This is it._

_I felt myself falling..._

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will the sinning end?

I never wanted to be lonely, but I always _was_.

You would think that being a young, flashy, gay model would bring quite the crowd of unwavering love-struck men to my front door; but it didn't. I mean there was the few die-hard fans that did try to sleep with me. But I knew they just wanted to allure of saying " _Oh yes_ I slept with him, I slept with Christoph Schneider". They didn't care about _me_. I knew they didn't.

Then the men that weren't throwing themselves at me, couldn't even bare to look at me. Their gazes were full of destitution, chagrin, or _fear_. Their emotions clung to them like moths to a flame. I could feel their inferiority complex rising from them. They wanted what I had. They were constantly afraid that I could ruin their reputation just by standing too close.

_And_ _don't even_ _get me_ _started on the women._ They were constantly staring. Covetous and resentful, eyes sharp like daggers and upper-lips tenaciously curled in a permanent dreadful sneer.

I had no one.

I mean _there was Till_ , but he was obviously only here because he was being paid, I mean I don't blame him. But there was something inside of me that screamed in utter disgust when I thought about my situation for the way that it truly was.

I had a boyfriend, who paid a man to have sex with me when he couldn't. Plain and simple. Till was basically my personal escort. It was almost like I was a desperate 60 year old cougar and he was the 20 something year old I preyed upon. Part of me just wished Richard would have let me stay by myself.

Sure my loneliness most certainly would have engulfed me again but at least I wouldn't have this nagging disgust stuck inside me.

I rolled myself out of my bed and ignored the protests of a grumpy Till and the ringing of my cellphone, as I walked out into my living room and made sure my door was locked.

After my cellphone ceased it's constant ringing, I checked my phone. It was one of 6 missed calls from Richard and a handful of texts. I inhaled deeply and felt my heart quicken as I opened Richard's thread of text messages and last night's events ran through my head.

'My head was swimming as Till possessively slammed his lips against mine as he began to unzip my pants. He ran his hand over my underwear and I shuddered, not in need or in wanton desire but in _disgust_.

I let out a hoarse gasp and Till stuck his hand in my pants to grab myself. A wave of pleasure shot through me and I couldn't deny how good his hand felt gliding over my sensitive skin. My breath was short and I was struggling to breath as anxiety and guilt sat hard in my chest but sheer pleasure brewed in my stomach.

I breathlessly uttered a small whimpering "Till" as he pulled my pants and underwear off my body. I was stuck. I was torn between stopping this and _needing_ this. He had me on my hands and knees across the seat. His lips were delicately grazing the skin across my lower back when I knew I had to stop it.

_At least momentarily._

My hoarse voice rang throughout the back seat. "Till, stop _please_ ". I felt his weight shift back as he obeyed my wishes. I sat up and gathered myself before pulling my pants and underwear up. A hurt expression plastered his face as I requested that we go back to my place.

Till looked confused and slightly overwhelmed but he listened and texted the limo driver to turn around and soon we were en route back to my place.

The ride was short and filled with tension from Till's constantly rapid glances between me and his phone and I couldn't shake the feeling of my tight chest and heavy stomach.

We had made it back home and the night ended with me predictably.. _In bed with Till_.'

He just had some _power_ over me. I couldn't help the attraction I felt for him, and naturally it was nothing like what I felt for Richard.. But it was there. And I hate myself for it.

My eyes had barely skimmed over first texts when Till's arms and bare chest came in contact with my skin. I shivered as he ran his calloused fingers ever so lightly over my torso.

He nestled his head into my neck and planted soft kisses there; my breath hitching as I felt his hot breath tickle my skin. His large hand started inching it's way down my abdomen and he elicited a needy gasp from my lips as he gripped me and bit into my sensitive flesh in unison.

I thrusted my hips against his hand and I moaned as the sensations from his hand took over. I all but dropped my phone back into the counter as quickly gripped his hair with one hand and I stabilized my body with the other by holding on to the edge of the counter.

He knew exactly how to please me, exactly how to make me shiver, exactly how to make me melt in his hands. Begging in the form of tangents escaped my lips, it just felt _so fucking good._ I felt my stomach turn and with every stroke, I inched closer to my orgasm.

" _Daddy_ , oh _Daddy_ " I groaned thrusting against his hand, he was just too much, I was just too sensitive, I'm surprised I even lasted this long. He chuckled softly at his old nickname returning along with my pathetically submissive nature.

He increased his speed and I practically screamed in utter pleasure. I was right on the edge, I bucked my hips against him as I let out a needy and urgent "Daddy, I'm gonna come". With the hand that wasn't gripping my cock he grabbed my face and pulled my head to the side so I could look into his eyes.

His eyes were striking and I couldn't help but have the spilt second memory of when Richard had me do almost this very same thing. I felt my legs shake and a moan of pure ecstasy left my lips as I felt myself coming and Till uttered the words "That's it's baby, _come for Daddy_ ", while I came all over his hand.

When I had come down from my high Till released his grip on me and went and cleaned himself up. I adjusted myself and cleaned up the little mess I had on me before pulling up my sweats and taking my phone from off the counter.

I sat on the couch and turned on the tv, I was initially shocked by Till's presence behind me on the couch but when he just wrapped his strong arms around me, I leaned in and planted a small kiss on his lips.

I smiled sweetly before whispering "That was great, thank you". He nodded before holding my head in his hands. He planted a string of small kisses against my lips and I leaned in close to him, I was flush with his body and I could feel himself pressing against me.

I felt almost giddy with him. In this moment it was almost surreal. He repeatedly brushed his lips across mine and traced his thumbs across my cheeks. He elicited small giggles from my mouth in between kisses.

We were in our own little bubble, until it was popped by someone speaking, their tone was harsh and cold. "What the _fuck is this?"_ I pulled my head to see him.

It was _Richard._

_He was here._


	21. Chapter 21

_"R-Richard_ what are you doing here babe?" I asked both nervous and elated to see he was standing in front of me, and _well_ Till too.

Till and I quickly detached ourselves from each other and Till sat there awkwardly and I got up from the couch nervously waiting for a response from my beloved; who's expression was resentful from my prevarication.

His face contorted into an expression of pure jealous anger. "If you would have _checked_ your fucking phone you would have seen my messages! But it looks like you were _obviously_ too busy".

He stepped closer towards me and began screaming. "You fucking _whore!_ I came back to surprise you and I get this instead!". I shrank back in fear and Till got up from his place on the couch and stood between Richard and I.

That only infuriated him further. In the midst of Richard rambling in anger Till yelled back. "Shut the fuck up and calm the fuck down. You can't get mad at us for something _you_ organised!"

Richard stopped yelling for second to lock eyes with Till and hold a stone cold expression on his face. "Get the _fuck_ out!" Richard screamed angrier than ever. Before I knew what was happening fists were flying and Till was wretching Richard up by his jacket.

Richard fought hard and I screamed for them to stop. Richard landed a solid right hook to the side of Till's cheek with a sickening ' _crack_ '. I screamed louder; my voice cracking loudly in the middle of the scream.

Again my useless pleas fell on deaf ears. Richard used that moment to swing himself out of Till's grasp but Till firmly grabbed his jacket pocket trying to keep Richard close enough to throw a punch.

Richard pulled away so hard that Till's firm hold ripped his pocket right off his jacket; causing his keys, lighter and cigarettes to spill out onto the floor. Richard punched Till again and shoved him out the door without another word.

He slammed it and locked it and stared at me. The look that was plastered across his face frightening to say the least. I was honestly waiting for my punch to come. But it didn't, well not in the form of a physical punch but in his look and his ice cold demeanor.

He motioned for me to walk closer to him and I shook my head slightly. He motioned again but I persisted. He had had enough. In 3 strides he was behind me and gripping my hair.

He leaned in and growled "You _never fucking_ listen, so it's about time you learn". My heart raced as he walked me out the door of my room and into the elevator up to his.

-

My heart felt as if it was going to beat out of my chest as he pointed to the bed and instructed simply " _knees_ ". I listened and I tried my best not to jump as I heard the sound of him walking behind me. He grabbed the leather bindings from under the bed. Hastily and wordlessly he fastened them extremely tight around both my wrists.

I began to protest about the tightness of my confines before he cut me off with an excruciating smack across my ass.

"Listen _whore.._ You're going to listen to me and you're going to obey me or you will face the extreme consequences you so rightly deserve."

I just nodded and he inhaled deeply before speaking "Here are the rules. _Do not_ speak, until you are spoken to. _Do not_ resist whatever I give you.. Everything I give you, you deserve. You insufferable cheap _whore_ ". He continued on and I remained silent. "You will only refer to me as Sir when you're spoken to, if I hear any other name come out of your wretched mouth... Well, you'll see"

His footsteps echoed against the wooden floor and I refused to look at him, I knew it would do me more harm than good. "I would say, do not disobey me.. But we can how well you've done of smashing that rule to complete shit".

I heard him moving behind me before I felt the coolness of a metal buckle against my throat making me shudder.

"There's a belt around your neck. Everytime you do something I don't like, the belt gets tighter.. Along with your other restraints. So it'd be in your best interest to finally fucking listen to me. _Don't you think?_ ". I wasn't sure if should respond or not, so I didn't.

That was the wrong move.

A swift and brutal smack across my ass told me so. Along with the belt around my neck getting two notches tighter and the ones around my wrists pulling impossibly tighter as well.

His anger was rising. _"I. Said. 'Don't. You. Think'?"_ I wasn't going to argue, I was going to listen. I replied with a simple "Yes Sir".

His voice lifted visibly. " _Good_. Then let's begin, Shall we?". I replied with another simple "Yes Sir" as I felt him peel my boxers and sweats off my body. His footsteps tappered off for a moment while he went into the closet to retrieve something.

As his footsteps returned behind me, for the first time since being restrained, I turned around to him see a cane-like object and he was smiling sinisterly.

I looked back up to the front headboard and waited for my punishment.

His voice rung out in the large room as he spoke demandingly "Count for me whore". I nodded visibly reeling from the first sharp sting of the cane.

My voice was hoarse as I spoke "One, sir..." "Two, sir..." "Three, sir..."

\-   
Till's POV

My face stung from Richard's punches and I wanted nothing more than to kill the little fucking bastard. But I couldn't. I'd end up in jail and of course, Christoph would never speak to me again and then everything would just be down right pointless.

But everything for me was pointless. I didn't want this, I didn't want to keep hiding this. I couldn't keeping lying to myself anymore.

The feelings, the denial, the frustration. It was all too much. I couldn't lie anymore.

I couldn't lie _anymore_.

_I was in love with Christoph._

Just everything about him was superb in every sense and I just wanted to make him whole-heartedly mine. But that's extremely difficult when you're just the side-hoe/fuck buddy and now you know the guy that was once letting you fuck him on the daily will _probably_ never let you see him again.

But amongst my inner turmoil I found a little bit of peace. There was something oddly calming to me about walking down the streets of Berlin. The cars whizzing by and the gust of wind I felt engulf me everytime was mind numbing. I was finally calming down.

I was so fucking mad about my face I failed to realise what I was clutching tightly within my fist.

I must have grabbed it out of Richard pocket when I was holding onto him. I found a half of a recipt to a convenience store for 2 packs of cigarettes and something else.

A folded up piece of paper. There was a paragraph and a half of Richard's chicken scratch writing that read like some type of poem. **[They're lyrics from the song Calling You by Blue October.]**

_**"I will keep calling you to see**_  
_**If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?**_  
_**If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?**_  
_**I can't believe you actually picked me.**_

_**I thought that the world had lost it's sway.**_  
_**It's so hard sometimes.**_  
_**Then I fell in love with you.**_  
_**Then came you.**_  
_**And you took that away.**_  
_**It's not so difficult.**_  
_**The world is not so difficult."**_

My heart throbbed at the thought of Christoph reading this and pulling Richard into a long moving kiss. _'That should be me'._ But amongst my petty jealously I saw something on the bottom of this paper. Something else that sent my world crashing down.

Written right underneath it in Richard's chicken scratch writing was the words.

**_'Willst du mich heiraten?'_ **

Oh no. No. This couldn't happen. _I wasn't going to let it._


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll need to prepare yourself for the next update fair warning.

Another sharp sting graced my right ass cheek and I fought back tears as I ground out the words "Twenty sir..". I awaited the next lash from the cane. I was momentarily relieved when it didn't come.

I fought the urge to pull against my restraints, quickly learning that it would only cause them to be adjusted even tighter. And if they went any tighter they'd start cutting off my circulation. My ass already radiated intense pain and I wanted to cry out. _But_ I would be breaking two rules, and I don't think that testing Richard's already thin patience would be the wisest course of action.

' _Do not_ speak, until you are spoken to. _Do not_ resist whatever I give you..' his words rang through my head. He ran the tip of cane ever so lightly over the welts forming on my ass and I wanted to keel over because even the slightest friction sent me reeling.

He ran the tip over the belt around my throat and under my chin forcing me to look at him.

I was ashamed. I don't deserve to look at him. I felt the rush of blood behind my ears as I stared into his crystal blue eyes. His face was stone cold and he didn't speak.

A tear unwillingly rolled down my face and his eyes followed its trail all the way down my cheek. His expression turned darker and I was desperately awaiting the punishment for this _new_ action.

He dropped the cane and grabbed my face in his left hand and I shut my eyes instinctively. His voice was harsh but he spoke quietly. "Open your eyes.. Look at me".

I sheepishly did. His expression was still full of rage but it softened slightly "Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry. _Understand_?". I whispered a soft "Yes sir" before Richard sighed loudly. "Be grateful.. I'm showing you mercy".

He reached up and removed the restraints from off my wrists and I sighed ever so softly as he started rubbing the feeling back into my hands. They ached slightly but it was nothing compared to my ass or my heart. He removed the belt from around my neck and I sighed greatly.

He spoke words and they were still sharp and harsh as ever. "You're nowhere near done. You're still going to be punished, just not physically or right now. I think you're finally listening though, _correct_?"

"Yes sir..." I whispered softly and he smiled in approval before whispering softly "that's _my_ whore.." I hummed in content as he gently rubbed the back of my neck with his hand and he sat down on the bed. I crawled in his lap still stark naked and I looked him in the eyes as to wait for approval to speak.

He noticed my gesture and spoke softly "you make speak freely for right now". With those words my eyes began welling with tears and I mumbled out a wistful "I missed you _so_ much". He grabbed my hand and I climbed over his lap holding my body up by my knees; because sitting on him would no doubt kill my injured ass.

I held his face in my hand and stared in his eyes. "Punish me all you want, but I promise I'm _yours_. I belong to you. I'm _nothing_ without you". My voice cracked as I spoke and I tried to control my breathing as he ran his hands over my naked body.

His fingertips began drawing shapes into my thighs and my breath hitched. Just the simple act of him touching my skin had me burning with desire. I ached for him.

I leaned down and placed a long line of soft kisses against his neck and he gripped the back of my thighs hard. I made my way up to his ear and moaned ever so quietly in his ear and he smacked my ass. I moaned louder in delight as the stinging pain shot through my body and caused my pleasure to intensify tenfold.

"Oh god.. do that again _master.. Please_ ". I moaned against his ear before pressing my erection against his sitting frame. I placed another soft kiss against his ear before grabbing one of his hands and wrapping it around myself.

My breathing turned rugged as I whimpered out a soft "Show me why I'm yours master." He gripped my hair hard and jerked my head back before crashing our lips together, causing me to moan against his mouth. I missed his lips against mine.

When he kissed me, there was nothing else like it. Till had nothing on Richard. _'How could I have been so blind? How could I have thought that I would love anyone other than him?'_ I love Richard. I'm Richard's. _Not_ Till's.

Richard was the love of my life. I loved him. No one could replace Richard. Sure Till was great in bed and very sweet and generous but Richard was just perfect.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I shivered. Our mouths colliding and his hands lazily touching and roaming my body was ecstasy. He momentarily broke our kiss to stick his index and middle finger in his mouth, wetting them.

His eyes met mine and I felt his wet fingertips trace up the inside of my thigh. I moaned as I felt them push against me. I threw my head back and moaned loudly as I felt his fingers push inside of my body.

As I looked back down at him and I blushed deeply, surprised and startled at my extreme reaction to his touch. His fingers began moving and prepping me and I had to bite back the whorish moans that threatened to escape my lips. His eyes were focused on my body and mine were focused on Richard's erection straining against his jeans.

He sped up his fingers and I groaned throwing myself against his fingers. He smirked in approval before whispering " _That's_ _it_ baby boy.. ride my fingers". He continued to watch my fevered actions.

With each trust of his fingers I was inching closer to my orgasm and I knew if I came this fast I wouldn't be able to live it down. I moved off his fingers and I moved back so I could pay attention to him.

I quickly rid him of his shirt before I unzipped his pants. His eyebrows raised slightly as I aggressively rid him of his jeans. I pulled down his boxers and I nearly came at the sight of my naked boyfriend before me.

I panted heavily as I took in the sight of him. His voice rung out pulling me out of my small reverie, "Come here baby". I crawled on top of him once again and my stomach flipped in anticipation as dozens of scenes of vile sex acts with Richard ran through my head.

I panted out a heavy "Yes _daddy_?". My heart raced and I gasped at my mistake. But it was too late. _Far too late._

Richard's eyes glared at the nickname that was not associated with him. "What did you just call _me_?" he asked, his once calm demeanor all but gone and his previous one in full swing.

He leaned over to the nightstand and pulled a bottle of lube out. My breathing quickened as he flicked the bottle open.

"We're going to try something _new_ tonight. _No_ speaking, just "yes sir". _No_ protesting. Take everything I give you. You're being punished again; you fucking whore". He spat maniacally.

I moaned softly as he stood up and shoved me on my stomach. He began restraining me again but this time he restrained my feet as well. He pulled the restraints tighter and I groaned deeply. " _Shut up_. You deserve this! How dare you bring him up when you're in front of me! You should be ashamed! _Filthy whore!_ "

I heard Richard's heavy breath as he was searching for something. I heard many objects 'clink' and 'slam' together before he chuckled slightly and I heard the unseen object cutting through the air.

The first hard, sharp blow landed on my back; there was no denying Richard was angry because another equally strong blow landed right beside the previous one seconds later; effectively knocking the wind out of me.

He growled loudly, "Count you fucking bitch". As the third blow landed on my already injured ass; I gasped loudly before grounding out a simple " _Three_ , Sir..".

After several minutes of non-stop lashes from the object; a final, brutally sharp lash landed on my back. I cried out and Richard walked over to the front of me. My eyes begged for forgiveness in the way my mouth couldn't. Richard raised an eyebrow while smirking, he rested the long slender object in his hands. "I see the little whore doesn't like the crop very much... Looks like we'll have to use it more often then _huh_?".

My eyes sank to the floor in humiliation. Richard set the crop down before momentarily un-restraining me. I sighed in relief as I thought my punishment was over. I couldn't have been more wrong.

He had me painfully lay on my back as he once again restrained my hands.  After he was satisfied with them he began searching through his mass of stuff before finding 3 little rings. I was perplexed by them and what Richard was going to do with them.

' _Is he gonna fucking shove them up my ass!?_ _'_ I questioned to myself.

Richard read my questionable expression and his smirk grew. My questions were shortly thereafter answered as he began sliding the rings onto me with slight difficulty. I groaned as they squeezed against me and I quickly grew to hate them.

He smiled warmly as he stood back and admired his work. "What's the matter little whore? You _don't_ like the rings?" he asked mockingly. I mumbled out a soft "No, sir". He didn't respond.

He just picked up the previously abandoned open bottle of lube and began applying it to himself. Richard managing to make my ardent torture worse by pulling on the most erotic face I'd ever seen from the man.  Causing my body to writhe in pure lust.

He knelt down and pressed himself against my submissive form. I threw my head back and whimpered as he pushed himself inside of me. As he began thrusting into me, my breath quickened and my cock strained.

The ecstasy I felt from his movements were mind numbing. His breathing was ragged and I cherished every time he was flush with my skin. I looked in his eyes and I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me. But I wasn't allowed to speak.

I pulled against the restraints and groaned as Richard hit the spot inside of me that sent me reeling. Richard quickened his pace even further and I wanted to scream, I could only gasp.

Richard ground out between hard, fast thrusts. "Does he fuck you _like this_? Can he make you _scream_ like _I can_?" I shook my head and panted out " _N-No,_ sir". He yanked on my hair as he hit that spot deep within me again, and again.

My legs shook and I couldn't contain the moans of ecstasy that escaped me. I could feel my orgasm building deep within me. Richard trusted in me especially rough and I cried out desperately. His strong hand wrapped around my throat stifling my noises effectively.

My body was shaking more and more with every hard trust and I felt my orgasm ready to engulf my fried senses. As Richard continued thrusting my orgasm inched closer and closer until I was on the verge. I was so, _so_ close, I was at the very peak of urgency, waiting for that final rush of deep nerve-frying, toe-curling pleasure. Almost there. _Almost there._

Until I wasn't. My face contorted into one of pain and I realised my dilemma. I _couldn't_ come. These stupid fucking rings on my dick were preventing me from achieving the only thing I truly needed right now.

I gasped against Richard's hand and Richard grinned as he realised I now knew what the rings did. I wanted to scream, cry, beg, grovel; whatever it took to come.

I knew the only way I would be able to come was if I begged like a whore; and _broke rule number 1_. I spoke as loud as I could with Richard's hand squeezing tighter and tighter around my throat. "S-sir _oh god,_ I-I'm so sorry, but please, please, _please_ let me come. I need to so bad. _Please_!

He seemed equally pleased and annoyed by my begging. He spoke a simple haunting sentence. "Remember who gave you this pleasure" before he painfully began removing the rings off my aching erection. I sighed in relief as they were off me.

He continued his rough thrusting, and I screamed as in pure pleasure as my weary body made the small dissent to the verge of my orgasm. Richard's hand wrapped tightly around me and he hit that perfect spot within me one last time and I was done.

My back arched and my eyes rolled into the back of my head as my orgasm engulfed me in a flash of pure carnal pleasure. Richard's name was the only thing that rolled off my lips. Richard followed me shortly thereafter, before pulling out of my weary body and coming on my shaking thighs.

As I laid there there was only one thing on my exhausted mind. Richard...

_Richard._


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready to die

_'The air wasn't tense nor was it cold so why did it feel like my chest was caving in and why couldn't I stop trembling?'_

I anxiously sipped my coffee on the couch opposite from Richard. "Listen, Christoph you need to understand this. I am not coddling you anymore. When you do something wrong you're going to be punished. When you do not listen you will be punished. When I tell you something you listen."

He took a long drag off of his dwindling cigarette. I could see him glaring at me in my peripheral vision; but I continued to stare down into my coffee. He was growing increasingly agitated at my melancholy silence.

"Do I have to make your punishments so severe so that you will actually listen?" He said his voice turning into a yell mid-question. I shook my head slightly and his frustration only grew.

"Then what do you suggest _I do?_ I need to know that you're obedient to me, as well as dedicated one hundred percent to us, or else it _won't_.." he said tapering off and lighting up another cigarette.

"It won't _what?"_ I questioned softly. I knew what he was going to say, I just didn't want to hear it.  He sighed before speaking "Or else it won't work. _We_ will _not_ work Christoph".

My gaze transferred from my coffee cup to his deep blue eyes. They did not hold the love and admiration for me as they once did. They were cold, and almost hollow. The grandeur of our lives intertwining was starting to run thin.

This last week I have spent with him has only strained our relationship further.

There was no love lost because he feels there's no love left. I am trying to be everything he wants, but maybe I'm just _not_ what he wants. Everyday he becomes more and more hellbent on trying to instill these values in me that I already possess.

I just do not express them the way he wishes I would so he refuses to see that I possess them at all.

Something inside me snapped. The last connection holding my composure together severed. I inhaled sharply and threw my mug against the kitchen wall.

The light mug shattered on impact with a sickeningly awful _'crack'_. The dark coffee covered everything in it's wake. I just started yelling. "Do you not _understand_ what I've done for you?! How much of myself I have given up and gave to you! How much of my life I have given up to _be with you!_ All you do is _take and take_ from me. I never can give you enough of myself! It is _obvious_ Richard!".

He began some half-assed response to my yelling and I silenced him. "Don't you ever just _shut the fuck up?!_ _Let me speak!"._

He stopped speaking and just grimaced at me. I sighed heavily. "It's obvious Richard.. That I'm not _enough_ for you. I'm not what you thought I could be. Go to New York. Finish your month there and when you return you won't have to worry. I won't be here".

His expression turned to one of hurt and betrayal. His voice softened considerably. "How could you think I would ever want that _for us?_ ". He moved from his place on the couch over the puddles of spilt coffee and shards of broken glass.

His eyes were glossed over and I couldn't help but stare through the tears welling in mine. He grabbed my head in his hands. His breathing was shallow and fast as he pressed his forehead against mine. "Is that what _you want_ Christoph? Because I _can_ change.. I can show you you're enough for me."

I placed my hand on his chest above his heart. His heart was racing under my touch. It was too much. All of this was too much. Richard was too much and I was simply not enough for him.

He choked out a sob as I whispered to him. "You can not _change_. _You_ are who _you_ are Richard. _I_ am who _I_ am. I'm just _not enough. We can't work baby"_. My tears fell like rain and his short gasps for air were thunder. He pressed our lips together in the most passionate kiss I had ever received.

His scent engulfed my senses and he was simply mind numbing. There was something about this kiss that I never wanted to end. My brain came to a screeching halt.

_I did not think. I just felt._

The emotions coursing through me were exhilarating and mournful all the same. Our kissing deepened. I could feel my tears running through his hands. His tongue met mine in a way I couldn't describe. There was no fire or primal need for him, and there wasn't butterflies fluttering through my stomach.

_We were finished. We could both feel it._

He was my fire and I was his forest. He had ignited me into helpless and utter devastation. I basked in the feeling of the warmth and brightness he brought me but failed to see how he was turning me to ruin.

 _He was burning me._ He was turning my exquisite beauty to ash. He knew it as well; because a fire can only burn for so long before it gets put out one way or another. He had used up all of me. I had no more trees to give him to burn. I was smouldering and charred and he was going out.

He pulled the shirt off of my body and rekindled our lips into another astounding kiss. I unbuttoned his shirt with trembling hands. He captured one of my hands in his and brought it to his face.

He grabbed me by my hips and pulled me onto his lap. I felt him against me and I shuddered. He wrapped an arm around my waist and stood up from the couch. I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. He gripped my ass and began the short walk to his room with us intertwined in each other.

He shut the door behind us and I felt my heart fleeting as he laid me down on his bed. He was so gentle with me it was stunning. It's almost as if he had finally realised how frail I was.

His eyes peered into mine as he ran a hand up my body. His hand clasped tightly around the locket and chain still hanging from my neck. His eyes glanced into his hand and then back into my eyes. He spoke so softly I almost didn't hear him.

"Du wirst _immer_ mein sein Christoph". I pulled him against me; his skin was warm against mine. My hands found their way to his pants button. I unbuttoned and unzipped them before he quickly removed them along with his boxers.

He kneeled before me, his pale, sleek body illuminated by the sun beginning to set in the sky. I gazed into his eyes, we both knew that this would be our last time together.

His hands unbuttoned my jeans and removed my boxers. He didn't speak. He just kissed me hard. He grabbed the lube from his place in his side table drawer. My stomach turned slightly as I heard the cap flick open and felt his fingers against me.

I moaned softly as he prepped me with his fingers. Our last attempt at bittersweet love-making brought dozens of memories flashing through my head.

 _"Okay I admit it... That shirt is pretty ugly.." he then wrapped his arms around my waist. "But you make it look so sexy"_.

_"Ich liebe dich Christoph.."_

_"B-but Richard I don't play" I stammered dumbfounded. He smirked before responding simply "But.. My love.. I do". I beamed even harder as his fingers expertly moved on the guitar creating the most beautiful sound.'_

Him pushing inside me brought me back to reality. My heart erratically beating inside my chest. I felt like it was our first time again. I was nervous and scared. Not for the initial pain but the pain I would feel after.

I needed this. I needed him; and I hated myself for it. His hips began thrusting into me, eliciting soft moans from both of us. He placed his forehead against mine, his short gasps in sync with mine.

I gripped his hips and shut my eyes in pleasure. He ground out between thrusts "Look at me. I want you to remember _this. And us_ ". My breathing quickened as Richard sped up.

My fingers digging deeper into his hips with every thrust. My eyes explored his as our bodies connected and our souls intertwined. I felt my orgasm pooling in the pit of my stomach. I gasped hard as Richard found that familiar spot in me.

I didn't have to announce anything, I didn't even need to speak. Richard knew. He wrapped his hand around me yet syncing another action in time with our bodies.

I panted harder as I began the short dissent to the peak of my orgasm. He whispered against my lips. "That's it baby.. _Come for me_ ". My panting became full out whorish moans of pleasure as I came closer and closer to the brink and Richard continued to pick up speed.

The pleasure was too much, I took one last look into Richard's eyes before screaming his name and coming all over his hand. Richard quickly pulled out of me and came on my thighs with a series of heavy grunts.

I pulled him in for a heated kiss and felt his body sink against mine. I rolled his body over and quickly washed myself off in his bathroom.

Richard was laying on the bed smoking, and staring out the window, watching the remaining sunset. I grabbed a cigarette from him and lit it before laying onto his chest.

Richard speaking caught me off guard. "I remember doing this same exact thing with you, so long ago. Except there was music playing and we didn't know what would become of us". I didn't speak I just nodded my head.

Richard began another sentence but then stopped halfway "Ya know, I was gonna ask...". I cocked an eyebrow at him before taking another drag of the cigarette I stole from him. "Ask what?" I said softly.

He just dismissed me with a wave of his hand and I didn't question him about it. I just laid on his chest smoking until his breathing had grown steady and monotonous.

I carefully and quietly pulled myself off of him, afraid to wake him. I pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. My hands shook softly as I dressed myself in my clothes that smelt of him. I felt the tears pool in my eyes as I removed the necklace he gave me from around my neck and placed it on the nightstand next to the spare key he gave me.

I stood in the doorway and looked at his sleeping form. He looked so peaceful. He was not tired or scared or stressed. He was completely at peace. I whispered a soft message to him knowing that he'll never hear it. "I'll never stop loving you Richard. I'm setting you free, I will always have a part of you in me".

I quietly disposed of the glass strewn across the floor and wiped up the coffee that was all over the walls and floor. I shut his door behind me and I took the  elevator down to my old "room".

I grabbed what little possessions I brought with me when I originally came. My phone, its charger, my wallet, my old set of keys, my jacket and my old pair of shoes I hadn't worn in months. I left my spare key to that room on the kitchen counter. I took one last look at what I was leaving behind.

I shut the door and took the elevator down to the lobby. I was met face to face with Paul. He gave me a curious but sweet greeting. "Hello once again sir! Where are you going at such a late time?".

I laughed at him and spoke genuinely "I don't know. I'll tell you when I get there okay?". He chuckled and stepped into the elevator. He smiled as the elevator doors shut around him.

I exited the lobby and turned left. I felt bad for lying to Paul because I knew exactly where I was going.

_I was finally going home._


End file.
